I love my life.
"Im not into Jesus because Im supposed to be, or because I grew up with Him, or because believing is a fire escape from hell. Im into Jesus because Im way over the top with Him. I love following Christ. I love the life I have with God. I love the world the way He shows it to me. I would follow Him no matter what." - Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller.
A minute ago, I was just looking on my Facebook page. After I changed my default picture, it really just made me think of how blessed I am. I still just sometimes cant even fathom it, that I've reached this point in my life: where Im completely, & utterly happy.
Tonight at youth, we started out with a few amazing worship songs. The first one being "You are my hope". Now usually, I just cant worship to that song right ... I dont know why, but I just cant. But tonights worship was diferent than usual, in a good way of course. Or Pastor had an altar call for people he felt had given up all hope, and had no freedom. After the altar call, someone in the back of the sanctuary yelled the word: FREEEDOM! It really just kinda hit me. Like, God started replaying in my head Verge, and how He'd set me free. I guess to some extent, Id taken advantage of it and not thanked Him for my freedom. Tonight? My gosh. I just cant explain it. After being at band camp today, sweaty and tired, I told God: "You know, even though IM tired, and IM hott, and I dont feel like it: You still deserve it more than anything". So, I praised Him & man was I crying. Haha. I just still cant believe it.
I was going to start a new paragraph about the freedom I recieved at Verge, but Im going to save that for another blog ... too long :) But just know this: God is love, love has come for us all - in the words of Mark Schultz. Im extremely happy, and God is the ONLY person I have to thank for that.
Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess: God is love, love has come for us all. Every heart set free, everyone will see: that God is love, love has come for us all. - Mark Schultz.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Real Christians.
Everytime I saw someone at Carowinds today, with a "christian" tattoo, I wondered how many of them actually live Godly lifestyles.
I hear about it alot, and I've lived it: the "Sunday & Wednesday" christian. The christians who act a certain way around their parents, but diferently at school. The christians who act a certain way around church and around friends. The christians who act like everythings fine but party to get rid of the pain. The christians who destroy our reputations: the fake christians.
Yeah, you may think that sounds rude, and if it did then Im glad the Holy Spirit is convicting you. But this is just one of those subjects I get absolutely F!RED UP about. I've been in that situation, where I was a complete "go after God" type girl on Sundays, and a "flirting with temptation having sex" kinda girl every other day of the week: I was a fake christian. I didnt realize how much of an effect it had on others, until I met fake christians. I know a few (but of course Im not going to put their names on here, duh), and it absolutely kills me to see people living like this. Putting up Bible verses / christian songs on their Facebook status's, and having their "about me's" all christiany, but then going and getting completely drunk and having sex with anyone that sounds good. [Now Im going to be honest: I have 2 people in my head right now, and like I said Im not putting their names up here. This isn't the same situation all people go through, this is just from my own personal experience].
Some people might think: "Why is she getting so mad about something like this? Christians dont get mad!" Such a stereotype, might I add. The Bible says we can get angry about things that go against God & His word, and it says in the Bible (somewhere) that God would rather have us out than have us be lukewarm: He (God) says it makes Him sick. Now, that personally strikes me. I remember reading that back in my "fake christian" days, and being like: nah, nah, nah thats not me. But now that I realize it was me, and I realize that I see it daily, it hurts so bad. Not only does it wreck peoples lives, it wrecks our reputations.
I love bearing the image of Christ. Yeah, I have to give up alot, but Im gaining eternity. Ive already felt some of Heaven, and theres NO WAY I could ever want anything more than that. There are some people, I believe, that have felt Heaven but just dont want to give up the Earthly things: like I was. So there are people that do the fake stuff. Call themselves christians, and go around partying / drinking / smoking / having sex, and it just makes other people think thats who christians are and that its okay to do that: NO! NO SIR! ITS NOT OKAY TO DO THAT! Like I always say when I get on this topic, I'd rather have people say their not christians than have fake christians saying they are. Id rather have someone admit to being broken, and torn up and letting someone lead them to a true relationsihp with Christ. So many people now have the wrong impressions of christians. But sometimes, I dont mind: it just pushes me to work twice as hard ya know? But still, it upsets me still that we have to deal with this.
I think Im done for now, Im getting a bit worked up. LALALALALALALALALALA.
The Earth was shaking in the dark, all creation felt the fathers broken heart. Tears were filling Heavens eyes, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. When blood and water hit the ground, walls we couldnt move came crashing down. And we were freed and made alive, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. - Phil Wickham.
I hear about it alot, and I've lived it: the "Sunday & Wednesday" christian. The christians who act a certain way around their parents, but diferently at school. The christians who act a certain way around church and around friends. The christians who act like everythings fine but party to get rid of the pain. The christians who destroy our reputations: the fake christians.
Yeah, you may think that sounds rude, and if it did then Im glad the Holy Spirit is convicting you. But this is just one of those subjects I get absolutely F!RED UP about. I've been in that situation, where I was a complete "go after God" type girl on Sundays, and a "flirting with temptation having sex" kinda girl every other day of the week: I was a fake christian. I didnt realize how much of an effect it had on others, until I met fake christians. I know a few (but of course Im not going to put their names on here, duh), and it absolutely kills me to see people living like this. Putting up Bible verses / christian songs on their Facebook status's, and having their "about me's" all christiany, but then going and getting completely drunk and having sex with anyone that sounds good. [Now Im going to be honest: I have 2 people in my head right now, and like I said Im not putting their names up here. This isn't the same situation all people go through, this is just from my own personal experience].
Some people might think: "Why is she getting so mad about something like this? Christians dont get mad!" Such a stereotype, might I add. The Bible says we can get angry about things that go against God & His word, and it says in the Bible (somewhere) that God would rather have us out than have us be lukewarm: He (God) says it makes Him sick. Now, that personally strikes me. I remember reading that back in my "fake christian" days, and being like: nah, nah, nah thats not me. But now that I realize it was me, and I realize that I see it daily, it hurts so bad. Not only does it wreck peoples lives, it wrecks our reputations.
I love bearing the image of Christ. Yeah, I have to give up alot, but Im gaining eternity. Ive already felt some of Heaven, and theres NO WAY I could ever want anything more than that. There are some people, I believe, that have felt Heaven but just dont want to give up the Earthly things: like I was. So there are people that do the fake stuff. Call themselves christians, and go around partying / drinking / smoking / having sex, and it just makes other people think thats who christians are and that its okay to do that: NO! NO SIR! ITS NOT OKAY TO DO THAT! Like I always say when I get on this topic, I'd rather have people say their not christians than have fake christians saying they are. Id rather have someone admit to being broken, and torn up and letting someone lead them to a true relationsihp with Christ. So many people now have the wrong impressions of christians. But sometimes, I dont mind: it just pushes me to work twice as hard ya know? But still, it upsets me still that we have to deal with this.
I think Im done for now, Im getting a bit worked up. LALALALALALALALALALA.
The Earth was shaking in the dark, all creation felt the fathers broken heart. Tears were filling Heavens eyes, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. When blood and water hit the ground, walls we couldnt move came crashing down. And we were freed and made alive, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. - Phil Wickham.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Just for a second,
Ponder this:
Why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God?
I tried to blog about this yesterday, but I just couldnt get it to make sense like I wanted it too. I asked God today what I was supposed to write, & He just said: "Erase it, and write". So, we'll see what comes out!
Sometimes, well often I guess, I get this image in my head. (If you've seen Passion of the Christ) its the image of "that" Jesus (thats how I envision [invision?] Jesus). He's standing there in a purple robe with a gold sash, starting into the clouds. But the backround is a dark blue, and the clouds are a whiteish / grey: its lovely, actually. But I randomly think to myself: "I just dont understand how people go on without God". I seriously just wonder that.
For 16 years I went on thinking I had happiness. For 16 years I went on doing things that brought me instant gratification. For 16 years I longed for something that would make me feel like I had worth. For 16 years I begged for attention. For 16 years I longed for something to live for. For 16 years I looked for something to have a passion for. For 16 years I had no one to go to. For 16 years I was unhappy. For 16 years: I was without Christ in my life.
Back to pondering the above statement:
(Again, this is going to be hard for me to get down and have make sense: bare with me!)
Psalm 32: 7-8 says "You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and and surround me with songs of deliverance". The Bible isnt a made up book, let me start from here. If you were to take 10 people: 5 following the "rules" of the Bible, and 5 not following the "rules" of the Bible, who would be better off? I heard on the radio, either 91.9 or 106.9, that the Bible are our guidlines. The Lord gave the words of the Bible to different trusted men to copy down for all to hear and read. From personal experience, following the guidelines of the Bible have helped me so much, and made me so happy. Dont get me wrong, there have been times where I've not followed them correctly: but nobodies perfect! Cept God :) But anywhoos, peole wonder what makes Christians so happy? JESUS MAKES US HAPPY! Helllllllur?!
If you were to really think about this, and I have ... many, many, many times ... why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God? What other purposes would we have on Earth? The Bible says we are to spread the love and the name of Jesus, and to save our brothers and sisters correct? It just makes sense! Ha! Could you really possibly believe that we evolved from Monkeys? Or that a tiny little cell created us? Or even (whatever the big bang theory is) could have created us? What purpose would we have? How could something like that create us, create our minds, and create us to be on the ONLY planet with life? Hmm?
I just dont understand, how people dont see this: PURPOSE. Again I repeat, what other purpose would we have on Earth other than to serve God?!
THERE IS NO OTHER PURPOSE ON EARTH OTHER THAN TO SERVE GOD!
I've felt the Holy Spirit, I've heard God speak to me, and I've seen Jesus change my life: I know God is real and I know He is the reason I live, move, and have my being. It just confuses me, seriously, that people dont understand this. I cant get this out enough, I feel like Gods telling me to push this: WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE ON EARTH OTHER THAN TO SERVE GOD - because God wants to reunite with all His beautiful children in Heaven one day. We need to save souls, and follow the one who sent His son to die: its not asking alot really. I cant describe this right, I truly cant. Oh wait, download from God:
Were not here just to work, and get tons of $$$$ so we can buy nice cars, live in nice houses, party it up, drink all the alcohol we want, sleep with all the people we want to, and eventually run our lives into the ground. Most people think thats what lifes about. It just seriously amazes me that people want to WASTE it lke that. Life is precious: life can be short. If you really think about how complex the body is, do you seriously think we could have evolved from monkeys? Could a cell seriously make us into something like that? Look at this for a moment, and tell me God did not create us:
This is laminin. Laminin, is protien that forms the subtrate of all internal organs. Overall, laminin keeps our bodies held together. Its not by accident laminin is in the shape of a cross, or that it holds our body together. I personally think of it as a remembrance, and a true shown fact that God created us. God knew the world, and knew us before He even created the Earth. He knew He would have to send his only begotten son to die for us, and loookie: He placed a cross inside our body to keep us together. Now tell me, that God didnt create us or this world?
Yes, this post is scatterbrained and I apologize! But I just wrote as I felt God speaking, and as I felt it coming. So, thuur ya have it.
Why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God?
And if our God is for us than who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, than what could stand against?
Friday, August 6, 2010
About me?
I've been blogging for like, 4 or 5 months now: and I realized some people who read my blog probably dont know me. So, heres what I have to say about myself;;
Im 16 years old, 5'0 and a junior in high school. I live in North Carolina, and I want to go to Huntsville Masters Comission / U of M. I drive a Honda Element, and Sarah & Marion named it the box: she's my baby :) Im a dancer, and I do colorguard at my school. Even though I havn't done it in 2 years, cheerleading is stilll something I love to do. I work at a steak house, and Im a hostess there. I tend to work out on the Wii Fit alot, just because the games make me giggle. I LOVELOVELOVE Disney movies, and I can be such a little kid. Sometimes, I get a bit self concience. My style changes alot, and I dont like to be labeled: unless the label screams Jesusfreak. Im at church more than twice a week, and its my second home. I love bright colors, and big purses. Books are one of Gods greatest creations: I love to read! Worship music consumes my iPod, because it just absolutely lifts me up and its amazing. I text, but it just gets annoying honestly. I love to sleep: like, seriously.
Oh, but the most important thing about me?
Jesus Christ has changed my life & He is the ONLY - repeat - ONLY person I live for.
Hope that covers it, :)
Im 16 years old, 5'0 and a junior in high school. I live in North Carolina, and I want to go to Huntsville Masters Comission / U of M. I drive a Honda Element, and Sarah & Marion named it the box: she's my baby :) Im a dancer, and I do colorguard at my school. Even though I havn't done it in 2 years, cheerleading is stilll something I love to do. I work at a steak house, and Im a hostess there. I tend to work out on the Wii Fit alot, just because the games make me giggle. I LOVELOVELOVE Disney movies, and I can be such a little kid. Sometimes, I get a bit self concience. My style changes alot, and I dont like to be labeled: unless the label screams Jesusfreak. Im at church more than twice a week, and its my second home. I love bright colors, and big purses. Books are one of Gods greatest creations: I love to read! Worship music consumes my iPod, because it just absolutely lifts me up and its amazing. I text, but it just gets annoying honestly. I love to sleep: like, seriously.
Oh, but the most important thing about me?
Jesus Christ has changed my life & He is the ONLY - repeat - ONLY person I live for.
Hope that covers it, :)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Quick post!
Just feelin' some stirring from the Holy Spirit while eating my banana here, so its gonna be a short one!
Just for a second:
Think of how God sent His son to die, and how much He loves you. It was a bit of a struggle for me. Four years, and Im just now actually feeling Gods love. I definitely dont want people going as long as I did without reaching out to Him, and asking for his presence.
Last night at church, I was praying over a friend of mines sister, and she was begging the Holy Spirit to overtake her: and she is a freshman in high shcool. It just goes to show that you dont need to be any age, any height, any color, any weight: why? BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU! He made you, created you, loves you, and wants a relationship with you more than anything! I know its not long, and its somewhat scatter brained ... but this is just a short somewhat inspirational little thing I felt God pushing me to post :)
- Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
Just for a second:
Think of how God sent His son to die, and how much He loves you. It was a bit of a struggle for me. Four years, and Im just now actually feeling Gods love. I definitely dont want people going as long as I did without reaching out to Him, and asking for his presence.
Last night at church, I was praying over a friend of mines sister, and she was begging the Holy Spirit to overtake her: and she is a freshman in high shcool. It just goes to show that you dont need to be any age, any height, any color, any weight: why? BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU! He made you, created you, loves you, and wants a relationship with you more than anything! I know its not long, and its somewhat scatter brained ... but this is just a short somewhat inspirational little thing I felt God pushing me to post :)
- Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Prophetically Speaking.
Alright, alright. I told you I would post what Sean, Barbara, and Brandon Smith said about me at Verge camp: and here it is loves!
Well, okay. So in the previous blog it talks about how Barbara called me up to the altar. When I got up there, she told me to lift my hands to God & so I did. She then directed her daughter, Brittany (bestrongjustbelieve.blogspot.com) to stand behind me and pray for me. So Barbara was in front of me, Brittany was behind me, and soon into prayer I felt one of my pastors (Elizabeth) come up to my left side and pray over me. But I know also that my youth group and some of the other students I'd met at Verge had their hands stretched towards me from the audience.
So I get up there, and I have my hands raised towards God, and she starts saying things over me. I watched the video of the service the other night and took notes. You might think: "You dont even remember what they said about you? Something that powerful?" Honestly, no. I was S0 in the spirit! I remember like, 2 things they said ... and others were just telling me what her and Sean had said. But I watched the video, and this is what I wrote down:
[ Barbara speaking ]* You have a presence of God *There is an Esther over you *You've set yourself apart *This week at Verge has taken you deeper *Purity is writen on you *You are a worshiper *His presence comes so strongly on you *You have a glow of the Holy Spirit *You have great destiny *You may seem like a quiet person *God is so big in you *You are an example *Verge took you to a new level *The atmosphere changes around you *Your an interceeder *God has favor over you. [ Sean speaking ] *Esther *Your prayers are answered, because you pray the will of God *You have an abiding place *You dance upon the Lord *God/man have favor over you. [ And Brandon said to me ] God wants you to know that you have a mighty mouth. You may be small in statute, but you have a mighty mouth for prayer.
Im not trying to brag on myself in all this, but just the power of God and the Holy Spirit. It humbles me EVER so much that this happened. Sometimes, I still just cant believe they called me up there and spoke these things over me.
God is good, God is great: and thats all there is too it :)
Holy is our God, wonderful is He, holy is the Lord almighty. To the one who reigns forever, to the ancient of all days: be the glory, power, majesty and praise.
Well, okay. So in the previous blog it talks about how Barbara called me up to the altar. When I got up there, she told me to lift my hands to God & so I did. She then directed her daughter, Brittany (bestrongjustbelieve.blogspot.com) to stand behind me and pray for me. So Barbara was in front of me, Brittany was behind me, and soon into prayer I felt one of my pastors (Elizabeth) come up to my left side and pray over me. But I know also that my youth group and some of the other students I'd met at Verge had their hands stretched towards me from the audience.
So I get up there, and I have my hands raised towards God, and she starts saying things over me. I watched the video of the service the other night and took notes. You might think: "You dont even remember what they said about you? Something that powerful?" Honestly, no. I was S0 in the spirit! I remember like, 2 things they said ... and others were just telling me what her and Sean had said. But I watched the video, and this is what I wrote down:
[ Barbara speaking ]* You have a presence of God *There is an Esther over you *You've set yourself apart *This week at Verge has taken you deeper *Purity is writen on you *You are a worshiper *His presence comes so strongly on you *You have a glow of the Holy Spirit *You have great destiny *You may seem like a quiet person *God is so big in you *You are an example *Verge took you to a new level *The atmosphere changes around you *Your an interceeder *God has favor over you. [ Sean speaking ] *Esther *Your prayers are answered, because you pray the will of God *You have an abiding place *You dance upon the Lord *God/man have favor over you. [ And Brandon said to me ] God wants you to know that you have a mighty mouth. You may be small in statute, but you have a mighty mouth for prayer.
Im not trying to brag on myself in all this, but just the power of God and the Holy Spirit. It humbles me EVER so much that this happened. Sometimes, I still just cant believe they called me up there and spoke these things over me.
God is good, God is great: and thats all there is too it :)
Holy is our God, wonderful is He, holy is the Lord almighty. To the one who reigns forever, to the ancient of all days: be the glory, power, majesty and praise.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Thats what Verge can do -
July 26th - 30th of 20x, I spent the days on the sunny beach of San Destin Florida & in some of the most amazing youth services in the nation. Now before I go into full out detail, let me just tell you about Verge and what it is.
Verge camp was downloaded into the minds of pastor Scott & Britt of the Rock in Huntsville, Alabama by God. For 5 days, churchs from all around the southern part of the US come together to worship Jesus, and have fun. We stayed at the San Destin beach resort, right on the water, and man was it amazing! There was tons of fellowship, and tons of Jesus.
My room consisted of 2 leaders and 6 girls (including me). Our villa was huge! & there was tons of yummalicous food to keep us all sustained for these five days. Now the bulding where we had service, is so hard to describe. When you walked in, to the right was the Lost & Found and a place to sign up for beach activities. Farther back behind that was the restrooms and phones. To the left was a table where they were selling TONS of merchandise such as Huntsville Masters Comission shirts, Verge 2010 shirts, Manafest Revolution shirts, Eyes Around tshirts, Eyes Around CD's, and Citizen CD's. Back farther behind the merchandise booth, was a large open area (obviously used for conferences), set up with a few tables and water jugs incase we got hott (cause ya know, it was only a billion and 3 degress outside all week). Straight infront of the merchandise table, was the "entrance" to the sanctuary. When you walked through the long black curtains, it was the most amazing setting ever. Tons of chairs set up just like a normal church. In the back center was the media stand, with the cameras / comptuers / lights / etc. Then straight on up was the stage. With tons of lights, a large screen to see on, and mics galore! (sp, ha).
Now onto the lifechanging stuff;
-Before Verge had started, I was in an awful relationship & I definitely rebelled against the Lord ... for awhile. He was trying so hard to show me His love, and pull me closer to Him but I just absolutely would NOT let Him. So finally, once I had enough of the relationsihp, I broke up with the boy and I started, somewhat, to aim more towards God. I kept asking him things, and just asking him to talk to me: and He wouldnt. Except for the Sunday before Verge, He said one word to me: reconciliation (hence 2 posts below). Im not gonna go back into that, but this is just the start to Verge. There were so many questions I had in my walk such as: should I be going to church here? Do You truly love me God? What do you want me to do? Just so many questions, and I needed a confirmation.
-Once we got to Verge, I automatically felt the presence of God ... as always. The services started going, and the worship started, and I was all over that stuff man. I LOVE to worship God! Especially to upbeat, fast paced music like they have at Verge. So Monday night, Tuesday morning & night, Wednesday morning I was all over the altar worshiping, taking notes: you name it. I felt God, and I was starting to feel His love, but it just wasnt definite yet. (Im about to sound a bit scatter brained, so I apologize in advance). I had also been begging God to heal me of my broken heart for a little over a year now, and I felt him preparing my heart for that. Ok, back to the other story.
-Wednesday night, Sean Smith preached his AMAZ!NG message, and started doing his healing thing (as I like to call it). He did this last year and he did again this year. God revelaed to him people that needed healing, or that Sean needed to speak things over, and Sean / Barbara (his wife) called them up to the altar. So about 4/5 people in, Barbara took the microphone from Sean & said: "Theres a girl here, with a lime green shirt on ... yes, she's over here. Yes, you. your friend just looked at you ... yes, you just looked to your left. Yes you, come on up here". Yeah: she was talking to me. So I went on up there, and she prayed for me and her & Sean just spoke some amazing things over me (Im not going to put that in this blog, its too much! I'll post another one later with all of that in it :D).
That night definitely took me to a WHOLE new level of intimacy with the Lord. I gained my gift that night as well: Im an intercessor - [According to Websters dictionary] 1. The act of interceeding; 2. Prayer, petition, or entreaty in favor of another. So basicalllly, I pray for others :) & I must say, its absolutely amazing! As soon as God gave me my gift, I put it right in motion. I prayed for three of my dearest friends, and all 3 of them received their prayer language (speaking in tongues before the Lord). 2 more friends ended relationships they knew they wernt supposed to be in, because of prayer (not just mine, but because of prayer and Gods love). But also, this was such a confirmation for me: and that was actually one of the things Barbara had said to me. Also, my heart has been healed. One of the interns at our church named Kayce prayed for me Tuesday night, she prayed hard that the chains on me be broken: somehow, she knew what was going on. God took the bondage from me, He broke the chains, and His love set me free. Its definitely a testimony that I need to share, and I know He will allow me to use it to save others :)
Verge changed my life, radically. It definitely made me think over my life, and decided to re - dedicate my life to God. Im no longer wishy - washy: Im ALLLLLL INNNNNNN for God this time. As Kim Walker sings in her song "I Surrender": No turning back, I've made up my mind, I'm giving all of my life this time.
Verge camp was downloaded into the minds of pastor Scott & Britt of the Rock in Huntsville, Alabama by God. For 5 days, churchs from all around the southern part of the US come together to worship Jesus, and have fun. We stayed at the San Destin beach resort, right on the water, and man was it amazing! There was tons of fellowship, and tons of Jesus.
My room consisted of 2 leaders and 6 girls (including me). Our villa was huge! & there was tons of yummalicous food to keep us all sustained for these five days. Now the bulding where we had service, is so hard to describe. When you walked in, to the right was the Lost & Found and a place to sign up for beach activities. Farther back behind that was the restrooms and phones. To the left was a table where they were selling TONS of merchandise such as Huntsville Masters Comission shirts, Verge 2010 shirts, Manafest Revolution shirts, Eyes Around tshirts, Eyes Around CD's, and Citizen CD's. Back farther behind the merchandise booth, was a large open area (obviously used for conferences), set up with a few tables and water jugs incase we got hott (cause ya know, it was only a billion and 3 degress outside all week). Straight infront of the merchandise table, was the "entrance" to the sanctuary. When you walked through the long black curtains, it was the most amazing setting ever. Tons of chairs set up just like a normal church. In the back center was the media stand, with the cameras / comptuers / lights / etc. Then straight on up was the stage. With tons of lights, a large screen to see on, and mics galore! (sp, ha).
Now onto the lifechanging stuff;
-Before Verge had started, I was in an awful relationship & I definitely rebelled against the Lord ... for awhile. He was trying so hard to show me His love, and pull me closer to Him but I just absolutely would NOT let Him. So finally, once I had enough of the relationsihp, I broke up with the boy and I started, somewhat, to aim more towards God. I kept asking him things, and just asking him to talk to me: and He wouldnt. Except for the Sunday before Verge, He said one word to me: reconciliation (hence 2 posts below). Im not gonna go back into that, but this is just the start to Verge. There were so many questions I had in my walk such as: should I be going to church here? Do You truly love me God? What do you want me to do? Just so many questions, and I needed a confirmation.
-Once we got to Verge, I automatically felt the presence of God ... as always. The services started going, and the worship started, and I was all over that stuff man. I LOVE to worship God! Especially to upbeat, fast paced music like they have at Verge. So Monday night, Tuesday morning & night, Wednesday morning I was all over the altar worshiping, taking notes: you name it. I felt God, and I was starting to feel His love, but it just wasnt definite yet. (Im about to sound a bit scatter brained, so I apologize in advance). I had also been begging God to heal me of my broken heart for a little over a year now, and I felt him preparing my heart for that. Ok, back to the other story.
-Wednesday night, Sean Smith preached his AMAZ!NG message, and started doing his healing thing (as I like to call it). He did this last year and he did again this year. God revelaed to him people that needed healing, or that Sean needed to speak things over, and Sean / Barbara (his wife) called them up to the altar. So about 4/5 people in, Barbara took the microphone from Sean & said: "Theres a girl here, with a lime green shirt on ... yes, she's over here. Yes, you. your friend just looked at you ... yes, you just looked to your left. Yes you, come on up here". Yeah: she was talking to me. So I went on up there, and she prayed for me and her & Sean just spoke some amazing things over me (Im not going to put that in this blog, its too much! I'll post another one later with all of that in it :D).
That night definitely took me to a WHOLE new level of intimacy with the Lord. I gained my gift that night as well: Im an intercessor - [According to Websters dictionary] 1. The act of interceeding; 2. Prayer, petition, or entreaty in favor of another. So basicalllly, I pray for others :) & I must say, its absolutely amazing! As soon as God gave me my gift, I put it right in motion. I prayed for three of my dearest friends, and all 3 of them received their prayer language (speaking in tongues before the Lord). 2 more friends ended relationships they knew they wernt supposed to be in, because of prayer (not just mine, but because of prayer and Gods love). But also, this was such a confirmation for me: and that was actually one of the things Barbara had said to me. Also, my heart has been healed. One of the interns at our church named Kayce prayed for me Tuesday night, she prayed hard that the chains on me be broken: somehow, she knew what was going on. God took the bondage from me, He broke the chains, and His love set me free. Its definitely a testimony that I need to share, and I know He will allow me to use it to save others :)
Verge changed my life, radically. It definitely made me think over my life, and decided to re - dedicate my life to God. Im no longer wishy - washy: Im ALLLLLL INNNNNNN for God this time. As Kim Walker sings in her song "I Surrender": No turning back, I've made up my mind, I'm giving all of my life this time.
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