:)

I didn't know what else to call it ... I may change the name later. I dont know. What I do know, is that God wants me to write: so, thats what Imma do.



This past week has been rough for me. Theres been alot going on, and we just got back from house/school hunting in Michigan. While we were there I had a re-occuring (sp?) leg pain going on. My kneecap was like, popping out of socket or something, and my hip (both on my right leg) just had this horrible stinging pain going on. It literally felt like my hip bone was trying to poke out of my skin. Owch.


I met with a friend of mine and we discussed a few other things, and she really helped me realize what was going on: the devil, duh. I mean, I knew it was him. But when Bekah was telling me some of the things she was telling me, it was intense. Like, good intense. She was speaking things into me that were just amazing. I didn't realize it at the time, but now I find myself declaring those over me allll the time. Ha.



But what I was really wanting to write about, was something that happened a moment ago. This morning I woke up, and I just felt this spirit of depression floating around me. For anyone who knows me, I've been SET FREE from depression, so it was weird that this was coming back. Theres just been a situation that the devil has been using to hurt me, and its honestly been working. I went to church this morning, and the message was amazing! I felt the spirit of the Lord, and He even had a word for me ... which dealt with the situation the devil had been throwing at me. Then I went over to First Assembly, which was a great service as well. The situation got worse though (READREADREAD! Im NOT saying First Assembly was the reason, other things. Haha.) The service was great, but when I walked out the same spirit came over me. As I got in the car I put in the new CD I had burned, and started listening to "Inside", Jared Anderson. Such an amazing song. But nothing changed. I was singing the words, but didnt feel anything.

When I got home, I came in and went to my room. After cleaning up a little bit, I was goign to sit down and start my homework. But instead, I just fell on my bed and began to cry. Something inside my heart was just producing so much pain. The "situation", I'm just going to call it, had seriously been hurting me SO bad. It reminded me of previous pains that a same "situation" had brought, and I absolutely knew in my heart I DID NOT want to deal with that again. So as I was laying on my bed, I cried out to God and asked Him to just help me. He led me to Jeremiah 3:4 which says "Have you not just now called to me, My Father, you are the friend of my youth-". Gotta admit, I was confused. He spoke to me again and led me to Jonah 1:6 which says "The captain came and said to him what are you doing sound asleep? Get up, call on your God! Perhaps the god will spare us a thought so that we do not perish". So, I called on God again. Reciting His word, and speaking positive things over myself. I had my iPod on, and the song "I Am" by Mark Schultz came on. The Lord just spoke to me through it. I remembered the line "I am the mighty God your Father" speak to me so strong through that it was amazing! I felt compelled to just stay laying on my bed for a moment, and as I did the song "Starry Night" by Chris August came on. One of the last lines of the song says "I've given my life to the only one who gave me hope when I had none". Stuck out to me, of course. The Lord just truly spoke to me through those songs and He's just given me peace now. I mean, the situation is there ... yes. But I've decided I'm NOT going to let it affect me, or hurt me. I'm going to walk in what God says, and if the situation works out? So be it. If not? So be it!



Psalm 84 - "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God".

"I am the fount of living water, the risen son of Man, the healer of the broken. & when you cry I am, your Savior and Redeemer, who bore the sin of man, the author and perfector, beginning and the end: I am".