What a blurr.

January 28, 2011 at 10:54 PM, and I'm finally coming clean.


That sounds awful. Sounds like I should be saying "HEY EVERYONE, I got high yesterday and went streaking in the snow." Which I didn't, incase you were wondering.





But here lately, I've been so resistant to spending time with God. Late at night when I usually read my Bible, I'm on Facebook or Skype, or watching Degrassi. Its so dumb of me, because I know better than that. When I think about it though, there are so many reasons that I just wanna beat myself up over. Like, He is so worthy & righteous ... He deserves it! Not only that, but this is me saying "Ok, well I'm gonna go watch Degrassi now but I'll deal with you later God. Peace." Like, hello? Does that even make sense?


I'm 100% positive that when Jesus was on the cross, He wasn't like "Oh hey, can I go pig out real quick and then yall can put me up there? Kay cool, thanks." I feel like thats what I'm saying to Him when I do that. But its so hard for me to focus anymore. This moving has been so rough on me, physically/emotionally/spiritually. But I know this move is for God, so it should be easier: right?


WRONG, so wrong. That's only gonna make it harder! Well, easier for the devil to try and attack me ... but harder for me to focus. It was great, actually, I went to a church called Westwinds last Sunday. It was a little weird when I went in, because it was so dark I couldn't see, and the stage was in the center of the room. I thought it was cool though, it reminded me of home. After service, I talked to the youth pastor and his assistant for a few minutes, which was nice and welcoming. Wednesday night I went to Biggbys (YUMMMIEST COFFEE EVEER) with Ben, Brooke, and Tori (the youth pastor, his assistant, and a student from SJ). We weere there for a good hour or so, talking about SJ (student journey, the youth group), Westwinds, God, and just visions. It was so great finally being out talking to believers you know? I'm so used to being with Bekah, or Sarah, and just other believers that I can talk to all the time; which is me being in my comfort zone I suppose. But up here, I have a few people that I can tlak to God about ... and its weird. I dont know, I'm venting now.



But anyways, I just feel like I'm hammering at Him, just being a brat. Yeah, ok. I don't know where I'm going with this anymore ... I got out what I needed out, and I guess thast the point of blogger huh?




Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." How re-assuring ... :)



I tried to get the picture at the top at the bottom, but thats just not where it wanted to go, obviously. Ha. Just so yall know, I went on a wild hunt for that picture. I felt stirred to put a field in there, with a hill. So I googled like 4 different things to find that, and finally I searched "fields with hill" and looked on that page. God was like "its at the top", so I went and found this. Haha. Maybe thats why its at the otp ... hmm.