Please?

Dear those who once loved me, and my blog,


Please don't give up on me. I'm working on fixing my relationship with God. I know it is not good...it's barely there. I know I have some followers who read every blog, encouraged me, prayed for me, and loved me. Ever since my relationship with God went down hill, all my earthly relationships went downhill as well. As I said, please don't give up on me. I'm working on it...I know what I have to do, I'm honestly just being the worlds laziest person. Please pray for me, and ... don't give up on me? Ha. I say it a lot, but I've had TOO many give up on me. I need you now more than ever.

Thank you for everything you do. Prayer, gifts, love, relationships: everything.


Sincerely,
Samantha.

Phewwwwwwie.

Sundrop. Texas Land and Cattle. Kelsey Yvars. Chick A Lay. Northwest. The Mills. Cook Out. Jay Joyce. Sonic. The Refuge. 365. Sarah Cannon. Bekah Efird. True worship. Nice weather. NO SNOW. True friends. Sarah Kirk. Deshaun Taylor. Viviana Donate. Josh Watts. Nutttttties < 3333 Northlake. The speeedway. Cherry Lemon Sundrop. CASA GRANDEEE !@#$%^&* Biltmore Estate. Rara and Poppy. Theatre. Pastor Portaaaaa.


I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW. :)
Eeeeek eeeeek eeeeek. Haha. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see everyone, and eat everything, and go everywhere, and see EVERYONE!!! It just stinks that I have homework...grrr AP Psych/English. But no man, I'm so excited to go home. Like, I don't think anyone besides Kelsey understands. I feel like I'm just gonna cry when I get there...hahahaha.

I think one reason I'm so excited is because I get to go to the Refuge. I know I moved to Michigan for God, but ever since I've been here I've only fallen from God. I really hope that something happens when I'm there...I can't wait to worship with the band, and lift my hands, and cry out to God and GAAH. I can't wait :')

So, just as an update, my friend and I started a colorguard club at shcool. It passed, and we started having practice! I seirously flipping love those girls. They make me so happy, and I love being able to hang out with them. I Love how they're all real. Like, they talk outside of the club and they aren't afraid to just be straight up with eachother. I LOVE IT. :)





Hmm. OHMYGOSH. Today was the last time I'll see Babi for 3 years :( Babi is my exchange student from Switzerland...booo :( Her, Celine (Belgiume xchange student) and I went to Ann ARbor yeserday for dinner. We had so much fun! I"m gonna miss Babi...WAAAAH :(

Alright. WEll I gotta go pack. I figured I would blog, because I haven't in a while.





I miss myself, and I miss God.
K, be blessed and have a WONDERMOUSSSSS Christmas :)

Lord, why have I run? When you, in the beginning, created everywhere I could run. Did I think I could possibly hide sucessfully from You? You, the Lord Almighty, knowing every millimeter of the Earth and speaking it into creation. You, the Lord among all Lords, knowing all. Me, a human, hide from the King?

Lord, why have I run? I know nothing apart from you. You are my portion, my love, my hearts one desire. Why have I run in my greatest time of need?



Lord, why have I fallen. Fallen so far, all seems hopeless. Lord save me. Let your grace catch me, and bring me back to the place I call home.

Stuck.

Heyloooo my followers. I can't remember the last time I blogged...and I'm so sorry for that. As I'm sure many of you know, I'm currently stuck. I haven't really been listening to God lately. I miss Him a lot...I'm just being extremely stubborn...all because of a boy. Who woulda thunk it?

I'm extremely dissapointed with myself, becauses I know that I love God. I was sitting at the gas station yesterday with Zach, and we saw a lady walk out and start walking home. It was snowing, and pretty chilly outside. I told Zach how sad I was to see this, and how I wish we could give her a ride home. Zach said "Did you not see what was in her bag? Alcohol, vodka." I told him that we can't judge people like that, because we don't know their story at all. She oculd have been born a crack baby, or maybe raped when she was younger and lost hope. I miss being able to be a free Christian. I feel trapped in myself honestly. I don't talk to anyone anymore, or express anything. I do the same thing every day: school, work, homework, sleep. Every single day. Work consumes me lately. I'm training to be a server at work, so I've been at work almost every single day this week. I'm trying to get back into cheerleading, but it's been hard with trying to pay $203 a month for my car. I'm really stressed. I seriously can't wait to go home to North Carolina. Michigan isn't really what I expected...I mean, I found Zach don't get me wrong. But I know GOd wants more. I want more, for me and Him.


Prayer? I feel awful asking for prayer knowing that I'm being a lazy selfish Christian...I just need to know when to break the habit...when to step out of my box...I miss my CHristian life. I miss Verge. I miss prayer. I miss church. I miss worship. I miss crying for God. I miss scavenger hunts for God. I miss it all.




Be blessed.