Stuck.

Heyloooo my followers. I can't remember the last time I blogged...and I'm so sorry for that. As I'm sure many of you know, I'm currently stuck. I haven't really been listening to God lately. I miss Him a lot...I'm just being extremely stubborn...all because of a boy. Who woulda thunk it?

I'm extremely dissapointed with myself, becauses I know that I love God. I was sitting at the gas station yesterday with Zach, and we saw a lady walk out and start walking home. It was snowing, and pretty chilly outside. I told Zach how sad I was to see this, and how I wish we could give her a ride home. Zach said "Did you not see what was in her bag? Alcohol, vodka." I told him that we can't judge people like that, because we don't know their story at all. She oculd have been born a crack baby, or maybe raped when she was younger and lost hope. I miss being able to be a free Christian. I feel trapped in myself honestly. I don't talk to anyone anymore, or express anything. I do the same thing every day: school, work, homework, sleep. Every single day. Work consumes me lately. I'm training to be a server at work, so I've been at work almost every single day this week. I'm trying to get back into cheerleading, but it's been hard with trying to pay $203 a month for my car. I'm really stressed. I seriously can't wait to go home to North Carolina. Michigan isn't really what I expected...I mean, I found Zach don't get me wrong. But I know GOd wants more. I want more, for me and Him.


Prayer? I feel awful asking for prayer knowing that I'm being a lazy selfish Christian...I just need to know when to break the habit...when to step out of my box...I miss my CHristian life. I miss Verge. I miss prayer. I miss church. I miss worship. I miss crying for God. I miss scavenger hunts for God. I miss it all.




Be blessed.