18.28

I just don't know what to title these anymore. I give up.



It's currently 10:40 on Memorial Day of 2010, and I'm sitting in bed. See, our air conditioning is broken, causing me not to be able to sleep. It makes me wonder what its like for those in other countries who don't even have homes...I've had a lot of realizations this weekend. I went to the lake with Zach & his family, and I had too much fun. It felt really nice to just get out and go somewhere besides Jackson...ew. But I just had a lot of things just hit me all at once. I don't know if I'll be exposing them all, due to some of the folks that read this, but just a lot of things came to mind.

I'd been struggling a lot with my weight, and I feel like it's coming back. Hmph. Flippping summertime $%^%^&* If y'all could pray for that, that'd be AMAZING.
I'm also starting my cheerleading workouts, which have been to good for me. They seem to be getting me in good shape, and I just love it. We run a mile at every practice, then we stretch for about 30-40 minutes, do our jumps/heel stretches/chants, then we stunt/tumble, depending on the days, then we done. It's so much fun, because our new coach is BEYOND strict, and I just love it. She's an amazing coach. Oh, prayer for that would be majorly appreciated as well. It's gonna cost a lot, and I'm pretty sure I'll be making the team (crossing fingers).
Along wtih colorguard. I made the guard a couple weeks ago. We haven't done anything with it, but I made it. Prayer as well for that please. I think it'll be a couple hundred, considering I HAVE TO play clarinet anyways next year. That's one of the things I'm not so fond of with Western bands. Band class is a full year long, and I have to play my instrument 2nd semester. UGH!@#$%^& Oh, prayer for a job as well please. That'd be fantasticcccc.

I just miss Northwest, and I really miss the swing of things. Everything made sense, and worked out perfectly. But I'm done complaining...for now.

I'm so thankful for Memorial Day. I Love that we have veterans. To be honest, I never really thought about them until this year. I have America at War 5th hour, and just being in that class this year has TRULY opened my eyes. I love it, and am so glad that we have soldiers willing to give their lives for our country. My heart is forever grateful < 3




Yepp. Well, I'm hott and I don't feel good. I think I'll try and go to sleep now. Let's see how this goes. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Oh, please pray for my spiritual growth as well if your reading this and decide to pray for me about stuff...it'd be so so so appreciated. :)



Mathew 16:13 "Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" And they said, "Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simpon Peter answered, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it."

106

I've come to the realization that I can't please everyone.


I mean, I'm not a "people pleaser", persay. But I never EVER wanna give someone a reason to hate me. So, I don't know what exactly you would call me ... but I just don't like people hating me, and I just wanna make people happy. But last night at work, it truly hit me, that no matter how nice I am to people, they can still hate you for no apparent reason.

I'm pretty much always nice to the people I work with (minus Jorge & Ricardo, but ya know.) and last night, I heard one of the other girls just gossiping like it was her job right in earshot of me. She probably did it on purpose, but what bothers me is that she was acting fine when she came back up: that's one thing I absolutely can't stand. If you're gonna sin, and gossip, don't play pretend when you go to see the person. !@#$%^&*( Drives me crazy I tell ya.


Well, now that I think about it, I'm not 100% positive she was talking about me, but I'm abut 97% positive she was, just because of the things she was saying that somewhat referred to MOI. But back to my main point...I've just realized I can't please everyone. I don't understand why, but I can't. Maybe God has it that way for a reason. Maybe the devil is just being stupid, and playing that to his advantage. I just don't know.


But what I do know, is that I will always be a disciple, and I will always treat my neighbor with kindness, and love them as Jesus has loved me.

Just a thought.

Anyone who listens to a Christian radio station has heard Britt Nicole. Whether the song be Headphones, Lost Get Found, or Have Your Way. But one of my absolute favorite songs by Britt Nicole, is Set the World On Fire. I first heard it at my sophmore dance recital, and downloaded it. It didn't really hit me, the lyrics anyways, until the middle of my junior year, when I'd finally given my life over to God. Well, as I'm sitting here attempting my French homework, I turned on my iPod and that song ccame up, & it really made me think. I'd thought about the TONS of girls on Facebook book I'd seen, who's statuses said:
Take my dreams, come and give them wings. Lord with You, there's nothing I cannot do.

If you haven't heard the lyrics, check them out: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/brittnicole/settheworldonfire.html



But seeing their statuses, and hearing the llyrics, this question popped into my head: how many of us actually live that out?


Like, the lyrics. "I wanna feed the hungry children, and reach across the farthest land. Until the broken there is healing, and mercy in the fathers hands." Or "My hands, my feet, my everything. My life, my love: Lord use me". God gives us SO many opportunities in a day to minister, that I probabloy couldn't even count them on 10 hands, we just choose to pass them up because we're scared. Don't get me wrong, I can be the same way, and I'm really trying to conquer that fear. I just think we need to change our schools, and communities. Heck, we even need to change our churches! This just popped into my head, and I had to let it out.


"He's doing a new thing, so He's singing a new song. People get ready: Jesus is coming".

Yeah, I'm still here.

Someone brought to my attention today, that I haven't blogged in ages, which happens to be correct. I've been really busy lately, and quite a bit back slidden. But I'm back on track, and back on blogging!


Today is Wednesday, May 4th, and I have a cold. I began back sliding a couple weeks ago, but Pastor Andy's message really gripped me on Sunday night, praise the Lord. I've really just begun a new walk, if you will, to a place of reconciliation with the Lord again, and I is EXCITED. !@#$%^&*

I really just realized today how mean kids are. Like, in my oral comm class, this kid was doing a presentation and the kids around me were just like, laughing at him. It made me mad, I guess because I absolutely HATE seeing kids being picked on. I just wish I coulda gained some courage and stuck up for him ... in good time though.

Also, this whole Osama Bin Ladden thing has certainly run its course. I don't really have an opinion as to whether I'm happy or sad that he's dead. I mean, I am but I'm not you know? As a lot of people have seen/posted on Facebook/Twitter, Osama died a sinner, and that seriously upsets me. I know he was a terrorist, and he planned 9/11, but does anyone deserve to burn in the pits of hell forever and eternity? Ya know? I just wish we could have reached him somehow. Speaking of reaching...something inside of me wants to just start a new outreach program. I don't know how it's gonna happen...but you bet your botom dollar it will.

The play is over at school, and now I'm stuck at home every day afterschool. I got a YMCA membership, so before summer I'll have my slimmed & muscular body :)

Prom is Saturday, and I'm still not excited for the dance. I'm pree much only excited for dinner/dressing up/bowling/after prom. Yeah, I guess that's kinda bad.

There's really not a whole lot going on in my head right now. Yeah, that was such a lie...haha. I don't know. I guess not a whole lot I'm willing to share with anyone right now, just those select few that are close to me.


PRAYER REQUESTS PLEASE:
If you're reading this and happen to be a believr, please pray for me.
1. I really need a 2nd job to pay for my phone bill/gas/car insurance.
2. I've been treated wrongfully at work, and I just need God to do something there to make it stop.
3. Breakthrough & answers with a certain situation.
4. SELF CONFIDENCE!





Shanks my awesome followers/readers :)
Keep posted, I promise to be blogging more often!


"Hallelujah, for our Lord God almighty reigns. Just and holy, He is worthy: OUR GOD REIGNS."

Who am I?

I have 10 minutes to write a blog ... let's see if I can do this and get out what I want! I only have 10 minutes, because I told myself I would start writing my AP paper at 5:00 ... here we go.


Here lately, a lot has been bugging me. Like, a lot has been eating at me. For example, how badly I want to pack up and move back to NC. But I have to keep reminding myself that its all for God. It's so hard though! I've mentioned in another blog how I get those "God wants you to know" things on Facebook. Today, it said something (8 minutes) about me being myself, and putting my guard down. Hmm. I don't know if I've been doing that or not lately.

Quite a few people have been like "Your so ... bipolar. You're nice one moment, but you beat people up the next." I don't know why, but that really bugs me, because I don't think I"m like that. Or I try not to be, anyways. I've noticed that I am, but I don't know if its actually my personality or just me acting a certain way, and I just realized how awful that sounds ... not even knowing my own personality (7).

Also, I have NO girl friends up here /: I mean, I have a few that I talk to, but none that I TALK to. No best girl friends. Like I've said, I prefer having guy friends ... just cause they're chill I guess. But (6) I miss having girl friends to talk to. I was recently backstabbed, and I feel like that's going to hurt my trust with girls, which is just going to be harder for me to make friends. PLUS I'M STILL NEW. This just stinks. Haha, I just thought about this. I do "beat up" guys a lot. Like, not beat up, but hit and punch. I don't know. I like being considered "one of the guys" because I like having guy friends. I feel like girls look at that and think "Slut. She only hangs out with guys." No, not really. I'd rather have a friend (guy) that doesn't judge me, and can treat me like a normal human being, than a friends (girl) who backstabs me, and lies about me but also acts nice to my face. BLAH.

The girl who backstabbed me also said some things about me. It make's me worry that people are going to think differently of me, and less of me. It was truly eating me up ... but I decided that I don't care. Like, (5) if someone really cares about me, or wants to actually get to know me, then they can talk to me themselves. Or ask me if whatever she said is true. I mean, I don't know. People are gonna hate, because they reject the unfamiliar. But I don't know. I've heard a lot of things about myself circling around lately, and I'm like "Woah, do I even know you?" It's kinda sad, actually. That people don't have enough to do that they'll sit around and talk. But (4) I've decided to keep my eyes on Heaven, and what God wants, rather than what I want. He's better. Yeah.


So, I don't know. I guess, in a way, this is defending myself? But also, it's an apology to anyone I've been rude to. I've realized that I do that A LOT and I don't mean too :( It's so hard to find true, honest, good friends. Please, if you're reading this, pray I find who I need. Thanks :)



I praise You, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well- Psalm 139:14.

Truth Is.

I'm sick. I've been sick for about a week now, and I believe its strep throat /:



I don't know if this is going to be long. I wrote another blog, and deleted it, because I didn't think it was what God watned me to post as of now. So, hurr we go.


I was driving somewhere the other day, and I had this shocking reveleation: "If I'm not doing things daily to build the kingsdom, then whats the point?"

Does that hit anyonelse? It bugged me. I've been really convicted lately. I have no idea what I'm doing right now. Like, I'm wasting days not telling people about God. I'm surrounded by TOO MANY people who don't know, and don't believe. Gah, I have to do soemthing.


Alright, that's it. Sorry its short.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope, and a future".

Well Surely,

I don't know what to call these anymore. I've run out of names, AND I missed my 100th post. BOOO :(


But anyways, I have an update! And something I'm actually going to "blog" about. (Mr. Kim, it's a happy one today). Well, thanks to Zach Arntz & Andy Walker, I will now be speaking at B.O.L! (Bridge of Life. From what I've gathered, it's somewhat of a missions trip). I'm so excited! I get to give my testimony, and speka, and pray and AH. I'm seriously so excited.


But time for the blogging:

I've been thinking a lot lately, and after hearing it from a lot of folks, I've decided that I've grown A LOT lately. I didn't decide that just from hearing that from other people, but also because I've seen it inside myself! Pastor David? I think his name is was talking at church yesterday about how he knew he'd changed, because he could see God growing inside of him, and I realized I noticed that in me too. I no longer ignored people sitting alone, I talk to them. I no longer cuss out someone because someone gives me a dirty look, I smile at them. I invite people to church, I offer to pray for people I know don't believe, and I just love like Christ does! Now listen here, I'm not doing this to brag on myself, I'm doing this as somewhat of a "marker" for me. Like, SO many times did I mess up. Run back to God, and just mess up again and again and again. But now like, God is just so big in me that I don't think I could ever go back ... never!


Also, God is faithful. I mean, anyone with a brain should know that. But here lately I've really been seeing that in my own life. A week or two ago, I was dealing with something I hadn't dealt with in years. I was literally begging God for help, and for an escape: he brought me Zach, one of the most amazing guys I have ever met. Not because he's my boyfriend, but because he's an AMAZING man of God. It's so awesome being able to just talk to him about anything, and pray with him about anything. I honestly believe he's the "escape" I was asking for.
Along side that, I have been looking for a job since ... before I moved here? Haha. I pay for my own car insurance, my own gas, and for part of my cell phone bill. Needless to say, I needed a job ASAP. The Saturday after my "guardian angel" stepped in, my mom and I went to Los Tres Amigos to have lunch. They had a sign on the window saying they were hiring, so I decided to fill out an application. After I ate, I gave the manager my application, he read over it, and talked to me for a few minutes. He said he would call me tomorrow (Sunday) and would let me know if I had the job and what not. So, he called on Sunday and I went in and had an "interview", which was him basically telling me the rules, because I already had the job. I work 3 days a week, and its absolutely perfect, because the other 4 days that I'm not working, I have play rehearsal :) It's so cool how God works things out perfectly like that!




"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11