We are lucky.

As I was laying in bed last night, I couldnt help but think about how lucky I was. Yesterday was such a stressful day for me.

In first period, I was extremely tired. And my teacher said something that I couldnt tell if she meant it in a rude way, or a joking way. So that upset me a little. Second period was awesome, as always. Third period just makes me angry. Im always starving in that class, plus algebra just bugs me. I dont like doing the work. Then fourth period ... ah. Dont even get me started on AP English.

So I had (have) homework in all four classes right? I had a worksheet & vocab for Science, a monologue to memorize for theatre, some problems for algebra, a butt load of bookwork, some vocab, and a book to read for AP English. On top of that, I had guard practice afterschool from 3:00 - 6:00. I did some homework inbetween there, because we had a game from 7:30 to around 10:30. And when I got home, I just wanted to snap.

I think what hurt me the most, is when my mom texted me. She said something like: "I miss my E&MP (which stands for eldest and most precious). Come home already." And that really just broke my heart. I miss spending time with my family. Most of us just take them for granted, because they buy us things. Or when they make us mad, we just ignore them. But just think about how lucky we are to have them.

Gods given us certain parents for a reason. I used to always hate my stepdad. Like, literally hate him. But once I let God in my heart, something changed. My stepdad and I are defnitely working on the relationship & the relationship between my mother and I has just grown. For the most part, I tell my mom everything. And we talk about everything. We joke around, we tell eachother "I love you", and its awesome.

But on the flip side to that, my dad lives in Florida. (I have 3 dads. My stepdad, my biological dad, and the dad whom I call dad because he raised me. My biological dad, I do not really consider my dad). The last time I saw my dad in Florida was about a year or two ago. Its hard, it really is. We always tell eachother good night, but we dont really get to talk during the day: thanks to my busy schedule.

But like I said earlier, we just take so much for granted. I was laying in bed praying last night, and I was just thanking God for everything. My bed, my clothes, my pillow, my shower, my car, my pencils, my school supplise, the fact that I have a school to go to, my colorguard team, my parents, my siblings: and the list just goes on. We have SO much to be thankful for. I've never been on a missions trip, so Im not positive what its like in other countries. But I do know there are places less fortunate than us, where students dont go to school. And I know we hear about that alot, but I think everyone has lost a heart for those people.

The other day I was driving home from church, and I saw this man walking home from Food Lion. I'd seen this guy there alot, because he worked at the Food Lion right across the street from my house. I saw him walking home, and it truly broke my heart for him. God has really just opened my eyes lately, and just showed me what I need to be thankful for. Because for a while, I was always saying: "Ew, this food isn't good enough. Im tired of colorguard. I hate this school work. I wish I had that car." Etc, but now Im just thankful for all those things. Im ESPECIALLY thankful for my parents! Sure I have to pay for my gas, and school suplise, but my parents keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. They also supply me with support and love (God also supports me with that, dont get me wrong!).

I think thats the biggest thing we take advantage of, is our parents in life. They're the ones who God placed there, and they've raised us, fed us, clothed us, nursed us, loved us, and helped us. We need more respect towards them!



I dont know why I wrote this, especially in such a weird fashion. But this was on my heart, and I was up early. And I know that when Im up early, its God wanting me to write.




Praise the Father, praise the Son, and the Spirit in one!

Junior Year - day 1.

Today, was actually a good day. I got up around 5:00 or so, because my mom decided she wanted to raid my closet for clothes. Ya know, normal mom stuff. So I wake up at 5:00, and try to fall back asleep (cause I had my alarm set for like, 5:45 I think), then my cats like banging my door with her head. So, I laid in bed until 5:43 when I finallly decided I would let her out.

Then I got in the shower, did my hair, got dressed, put on some eye liner, did all that fun stuff.
Then I went downstaris to get my breakfast & what not. Saw my sistor in her cutie pa tootie school outfit, and saw her off to school. Then I left, and thats when it really began.

This probaly sounds SO dumb, but I had so much fear inside of me. I was so scared to park in the parking lot. I've never been ANY good at parking, so it just made me that much more nervous you know? But, I didnt do too shabby ... someone parked behind me, which makes me feel a bit better. Ha. But I really felt alot of fear inside of me heading into school. I think mainly because MMATP starts tomorrow? And after just seeing SO many people there, the devil was really trying to scare me out of it. & I'll admit, he did a fine job for a minute there.

Then I got to thinking: do these people really even matter? Who matters more?

God > peers. <-- & thats how I think of it.


So now, Im extremely pumped for Vertical tonight. I was sitting here, doing the page of Algebra homework I was assigned and I had on the song "Kingdom"? Man, my spirit was like banging to get outside of me. But then I felt bad, because I didnt do anything /: But for Vertical, I seriously just cant wait tonight. Were all going to split up (into our different schools) and were going to pray tonight. I just cant wait, because I know God is going to do great things this year. Thinking back on it, there are SO many people we can change this year: for the better.


(Sing this like the Lion King song, k?) OH I JUST CANT WAIT FOR THE KINNNNG! :D

Freedom: its here.

"Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Freedom reigns in this place. Showers of mercy and grace. Falling on every face, there is freedom".

There were points in time a few years back when I thought I'd acheived freedom from the things the devil used to bind me up: turns out, I never did. If you've read my "Thats What Verge Can Do" post, then you know a little about how I was set free.

I had my heart broken in June of '09. I dealt with that, for about 2 years & duringg those 2 years I did so many things I knew were wrong. I was always angry, always lashing out at the ones I loved and treasured. I was doing impure things with guys I knew didnt care about me, and I was just trying to fill the void in my heart where that boy had once been. At first when it happened, I was just in shock. I honestly never thought that situation would happen to me. But also, I wasn't in a very good relationship with God. I was one of those "Sunday & Wednesday worshipers". Never read the Word, never prayed, never worshiped outside of church: & I thought I was good to go - NOOOOOPE.

So after my heart was broken, I kept asking God: "Why? I thought you cared. Can't you see Im in pain? Im obviously calling out for you, why wont You help me?" I was in so much pain, it made me backslide more than anything. My sophmore year in highschool was tough for me. Because I'd acted like I was healed, and I was free: but I knew in my heart I truly wasn't. I passed up so many opportunities to meet with the Lord, all because I wouldnt trust Him anymore. I had put my trust in a boy who I had thought was strong in the Lord (not that he isn't now, he just wasn't then). And after that ended, I just blamed God for everything. Because I had my trust in the wrong person, for one. And two, I didnt even have a right relationship with him.

But at Verge, when I was freed, I stopped asking Him why it happened & started praising Him and actually thanking Him that it happened. If God wouldnt have let me go through something like that, I know I would not be where I am now. Im happy, Im secure in who I am, and Im in an amazing relationship with my Father.

At Vertical last night Porter was talking about how we always ask God "Why?" & how we try to figure Him out. Like Porter said, God created us: theres no reason we should try to figure Him out: HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING! Its just funny, because I catch myself diong that alot. Whenever I dont understand something, I'll just ask Him why. But now Im starting to just say: "Ok, if its Your will let it be done Father". Last night also, the worship band started out playing one of my FAVORITE worship songs "Holding Nothing Back" by Melissa How. I'd used to jump around to it, and sing real real loud to it: but last night I just actually felt it. Like I said, I'd never been free before until after Verge. Last night that song truly hit me, and the words really spoke to me. Here are the lyrics:

I am chosen, I am free. I am Living for eternity. Free now forever.
You picked me up, turned me around. You set my feet on solid ground. Yours now forever.
And nothing’s gonna hold me back. Nothing’s gonna hold me back. Nothing’s gonna hold me back
My chains fell off My heart was free, I’m alive to live for you. I’m alive to live for you. Amazing Love, how can it be? You give everything for me, You give everything for me Everything.
You washed my sin and shame away, The slate is clean: a brand new day, Free now forever. Now boldly I approach your throne, To claim this crown through christ my own, Yours now forever. And nothing’s gonna hold me back, Nothing’s gonna hold me back, Nothing’s gonna hold me back: My chains fell off My heart was free, I’m alive to live for you, I’m alive to live for you. Amazing Love, how can it be? You give everything for me, You give everything for me.
I’m free to live, Free to give, Free to beI’m free to love you.

Thats a condensed version of it, but do you see the point? The words really just hit me like a water gun: it was so powerful! Man oh man did the Spirit wash over me then :)



But after worship, Porter went back on stage and looked extremely dissapointed. I was hoping he was dissapionted at the same thing I was: which was the fact that some students stood there with their arms crossed. Yes, he was upset about that too. He said it as well. And once he started talking about it, the Spirit overtook me again and I started balling my eyes out. Thats when I decided: Im going to make the love of Christ known to everyone, no matter what it takes. I was weeping for the students who didnt know Jesus's love: its the most amazing thing in the world! I just couldnt believe it actually. That God would lay something like that on me. I truly believe now, that Im going to be able to use my testimony to not only save girls lives, but also to help them find the love of Christ: and that, is my dream.





"& now Im free to live, free to give, free to be Im free to love you. My chains fell off my heart was FREE, Im alive to live for You: Im alive to live for You. Amazing love how can it be? You gave EVERYTHING for me, You gave EVERYTHING for me".

ATTAK, ATTACK!

Now usually, I wouldnt blog this early in the morning: especially after I posted a blog last night. But I knew there was a reason I was up this early, I need to blog.

The devil has really been throwing things at me lately. Once we got back from Verge, he decided he wanted to sit on my bed and taunt me. After that, he tried to get me with an attitude with my parents. Then I was in a car wreck. Then there was the Monday night incident. But last night? Thats been the worste in a lonnnnnnng time. Before I go to bed, I pray every night that God would protect my mind, my siblings's minds, and my parents mind from anything the devil might throw at us. Tonight, the devil got in. But dont get me wrong, Im not saying that God doesnt listen to me and wants the devil to take me down: NONONO. I believe God will let the devil get to us A) see if we'll stand up for him, and walk in our authority & B) to somewhat "scare" us, and show us what its really like in hell.

I went to bed around 11:30 last night, and went to bed as usual. For some reason though, I heard a voice say "Expect him". I believe it was God, but I honestly was not sure. I was just expecting to see him standing in the corner again, and Id just have to cast him out like last time: not a problem, I have that authority. No, mucho grande worse mi amor.

DREAM #1: I was with Whitney & I believe Katie from work, and we were driving around somewhere. Some guy was following us, and he was keeping up pretty well with us. When we got to a card store (why a card store, I have no idea) I had to call 911, and I was literally freaking out in my dream. Once I woke up from that, I prayed that God would protect me from anything else the devil would chuck my way. When I went back to bed, I was laying on my stomach and I had my left foot out and my right one tucked up near me (weird sleeping position ... I know). I swear I felt the devil sitting on me, and that was enough to freak the heck out of me. But, I finally fell back asleep around 11:35 I'd say.

DREAM #2: I honestly dont remember how it started, and it really wasn't a long dream. But I was home, and the boy I fell in love with came to my house to talk to me. After we talked, we were in like a kitchen or something. Completely flirty, and romantic. He had his arms around me, kissing my neck, diong all the things we used to do in a relationship. And he told me: "I left her, were not together anymore". I think the devil threw this at me, because that was something I'd wished for for SO long. Is that he would leave her for me, and in my dream he did so. I also think he trhew this at me, because this used to tear me up: bad. Whenever I'd have dreams about him, or re - live the memories, I couldnt stop thinking about them or I wouldnt be able to handle the pain. Its funny to throw it in his face (the devils face) because God healed me from that. I no longer want to be with him, it no longer hurts me like it used to, and those chains have already been broken. Its kinda pathetic to watch him try ya know?


"And when the oceans rage, I dont have to be afraid. Because I KNOW that You love me: Your love never fails". This song means so much, because its so true! Nobody can avoid the storms of life: but God always walks with you through them. "You hold my every moment, You calm my raging seas. You walk with me through fire, and heal all my disease". So many songs have so many lyrics that I could use to talk about this, so I might just do so. Im mainly just trying to get a point across, as I do ALL my blogs. It says in Hebrews 13:5 " ... because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." NIV. Now, I can finally believe that: because He has never left me, or forsaken me. He's always right by my side in the situations. And ever since Verge, He's the only thing I've looked for during those situations.

I LOVE JESUS. Hehe :)





"Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name. You give and take away, my heart will choose to say: blessed be your name."

Hmm, interesting.

There was a point in my life, where things would be going awesome with God, and the devil would throw something at me and just mess everything up. Yeah, he tried again Monday.

So, okay. I had this crush on a guy, and we all went bowling together (us & some friends). But you see, he doesn't know that I have a crush on him. Blah, blah anyways. Things have been amazing with God lately, and I just cant shake this joy that the Lord has given me. So, Monday I kept praying "God, if its Your will let it be done ... if its something You have for me, let it be done". Long story short, nothing happened. He completely ignored me most of the night, ouch right? So, that night I was pretty upset not gonna lie. It was really hard for me to run to God with something like that, because this is the first "real crush" Ive had in years.

But as I was leaving my friends house this morning, I was just talking to God. Asking Him for so much. Just asking him for guidance, and help. Sure enough He did: He always does. He turned something around inside of me. Like, usually at a piont like that, I would fall into temptation and do something completely stupid to myself. But not today, I ran to God and He welcomed & helped me with open arms.

Im just trying to say, that anything is possible with God. I was talking to my friend Sarah today, and we were just atlking about how powerful His name is. Just by the name Jesus, all of hell trembles. It amazes me. I told her, I cant wait to see the power He brings when He returns.

I just wish I would have been in a relationship with the Lord ilke this months ago. I wish everyone would have a relationship with God: but then again what Christian doesn't? If I was in a relationship with Him like this months ago, I would have been saved from so much pain and loss. I remember hearing so many stories, even from friends of mine, that had been saved and hellped by God. I always believed it for them, but never for me. Today was one of the first times God has really just helped me. Its hard to explain, haha. I asked God this morning to take him off my mind, and help me focus on the right things & He did. I dont think about the situation as much, and that definitely makes me feel better. Today, I couldnt stop thanking God for everything He'd done for me. I still cant stop thanking Him ...

OKAY, sorry this is so random. Im so tired, and I needed to write about this. Sorry for my subject jumpps.

God is there, He is always there, always will be there. He is the first and the last. The beginning and the end. The alpha and the omega. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He is everlasting, never changing: He Is God.




We set our hope on You, we set our hope on the love. We set our hope on the one, who is the everlasting God: You are the everlasting God.

Cleanin Out My Closet.

I went shopping with my mom earlier today, and I was wearing shorts & a button down plaid t - shirt. I usually dont think to much about my shorts, or how short they are. Today, I thought differently. There were alot of people looking at me today at the mall. Not like, "ew, gross" kinda look. Like, a "ooh, hey mama" kinda look. Ya know? & I really was not ok with that at all. Then when I was looking at other girls wearing shorts like mine, and shorter, I realized what people were thinking: and that hurt me.


So I got home today, and I unpacked all my things from my sisters room, and I put all my clothes away. I was listening to the song "I Surrender" by Kim Walker, and I was at the part in the song where it says "All to You, Your love makes it worth it all". I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me about some of the clothes I wore. I was already planning on going to Platos Closet (which is a place where you can sell your clothes & buy higher brands for cheaper prices). I had already had a pile of things that I'd picked out the first time. But those shorts were at the top of that pile. Then I went through my closet and asked God to show me some of the things I needed to get rid of. It was hard, because those were my FAVORITE pair of shorts. But I realized wearing those wasnt helping me carry the image of Christ, and neither were a few of the other things He told me to get rid of.


Its so hard these days though, because going into American Eagle or Forever 21, the shorts are extremely short and the shirts are extremely low cut. But Im learning how to carry myself not only as a Christian woman, but as a young lady. Its also on my heart just to help other girls do the same thing. I want to be a role model in that way. I just hope God helps me to do that, and lets girls look up to me :)




All to You I surrender, everything: EVERY part of me.

Random, short post.

"Samantha, You are the HOPE for this generation, be encouraged....You cant be caught up in something you were destined to set others free of...I like your style...blessings world Changer!"


Ah! Sean Smith said this to me :)
Incase you dont know who Sean Smith is, he's an evangalist & he's pretttty amazing. Haha. He's been at the camp we go to in Florida, Verge camp, for the past two or three years. I know this may not seem like alot to anyone, but this means a heck of alot to me. I've been battling alot lately, and this just brought me up. It blessed me, and reminds me of who my strength is.




You are my strong tower, fortress over me.

Sigh.

I love my life.


"Im not into Jesus because Im supposed to be, or because I grew up with Him, or because believing is a fire escape from hell. Im into Jesus because Im way over the top with Him. I love following Christ. I love the life I have with God. I love the world the way He shows it to me. I would follow Him no matter what." - Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller.

A minute ago, I was just looking on my Facebook page. After I changed my default picture, it really just made me think of how blessed I am. I still just sometimes cant even fathom it, that I've reached this point in my life: where Im completely, & utterly happy.

Tonight at youth, we started out with a few amazing worship songs. The first one being "You are my hope". Now usually, I just cant worship to that song right ... I dont know why, but I just cant. But tonights worship was diferent than usual, in a good way of course. Or Pastor had an altar call for people he felt had given up all hope, and had no freedom. After the altar call, someone in the back of the sanctuary yelled the word: FREEEDOM! It really just kinda hit me. Like, God started replaying in my head Verge, and how He'd set me free. I guess to some extent, Id taken advantage of it and not thanked Him for my freedom. Tonight? My gosh. I just cant explain it. After being at band camp today, sweaty and tired, I told God: "You know, even though IM tired, and IM hott, and I dont feel like it: You still deserve it more than anything". So, I praised Him & man was I crying. Haha. I just still cant believe it.

I was going to start a new paragraph about the freedom I recieved at Verge, but Im going to save that for another blog ... too long :) But just know this: God is love, love has come for us all - in the words of Mark Schultz. Im extremely happy, and God is the ONLY person I have to thank for that.




Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess: God is love, love has come for us all. Every heart set free, everyone will see: that God is love, love has come for us all. - Mark Schultz.

Real Christians.

Everytime I saw someone at Carowinds today, with a "christian" tattoo, I wondered how many of them actually live Godly lifestyles.


I hear about it alot, and I've lived it: the "Sunday & Wednesday" christian. The christians who act a certain way around their parents, but diferently at school. The christians who act a certain way around church and around friends. The christians who act like everythings fine but party to get rid of the pain. The christians who destroy our reputations: the fake christians.


Yeah, you may think that sounds rude, and if it did then Im glad the Holy Spirit is convicting you. But this is just one of those subjects I get absolutely F!RED UP about. I've been in that situation, where I was a complete "go after God" type girl on Sundays, and a "flirting with temptation having sex" kinda girl every other day of the week: I was a fake christian. I didnt realize how much of an effect it had on others, until I met fake christians. I know a few (but of course Im not going to put their names on here, duh), and it absolutely kills me to see people living like this. Putting up Bible verses / christian songs on their Facebook status's, and having their "about me's" all christiany, but then going and getting completely drunk and having sex with anyone that sounds good. [Now Im going to be honest: I have 2 people in my head right now, and like I said Im not putting their names up here. This isn't the same situation all people go through, this is just from my own personal experience].

Some people might think: "Why is she getting so mad about something like this? Christians dont get mad!" Such a stereotype, might I add. The Bible says we can get angry about things that go against God & His word, and it says in the Bible (somewhere) that God would rather have us out than have us be lukewarm: He (God) says it makes Him sick. Now, that personally strikes me. I remember reading that back in my "fake christian" days, and being like: nah, nah, nah thats not me. But now that I realize it was me, and I realize that I see it daily, it hurts so bad. Not only does it wreck peoples lives, it wrecks our reputations.

I love bearing the image of Christ. Yeah, I have to give up alot, but Im gaining eternity. Ive already felt some of Heaven, and theres NO WAY I could ever want anything more than that. There are some people, I believe, that have felt Heaven but just dont want to give up the Earthly things: like I was. So there are people that do the fake stuff. Call themselves christians, and go around partying / drinking / smoking / having sex, and it just makes other people think thats who christians are and that its okay to do that: NO! NO SIR! ITS NOT OKAY TO DO THAT! Like I always say when I get on this topic, I'd rather have people say their not christians than have fake christians saying they are. Id rather have someone admit to being broken, and torn up and letting someone lead them to a true relationsihp with Christ. So many people now have the wrong impressions of christians. But sometimes, I dont mind: it just pushes me to work twice as hard ya know? But still, it upsets me still that we have to deal with this.




I think Im done for now, Im getting a bit worked up. LALALALALALALALALALA.





The Earth was shaking in the dark, all creation felt the fathers broken heart. Tears were filling Heavens eyes, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. When blood and water hit the ground, walls we couldnt move came crashing down. And we were freed and made alive, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. - Phil Wickham.

Just for a second,

Ponder this:

Why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God?

I tried to blog about this yesterday, but I just couldnt get it to make sense like I wanted it too. I asked God today what I was supposed to write, & He just said: "Erase it, and write". So, we'll see what comes out!

Sometimes, well often I guess, I get this image in my head. (If you've seen Passion of the Christ) its the image of "that" Jesus (thats how I envision [invision?] Jesus). He's standing there in a purple robe with a gold sash, starting into the clouds. But the backround is a dark blue, and the clouds are a whiteish / grey: its lovely, actually. But I randomly think to myself: "I just dont understand how people go on without God". I seriously just wonder that.

For 16 years I went on thinking I had happiness. For 16 years I went on doing things that brought me instant gratification. For 16 years I longed for something that would make me feel like I had worth. For 16 years I begged for attention. For 16 years I longed for something to live for. For 16 years I looked for something to have a passion for. For 16 years I had no one to go to. For 16 years I was unhappy. For 16 years: I was without Christ in my life.

Back to pondering the above statement:

(Again, this is going to be hard for me to get down and have make sense: bare with me!)

Psalm 32: 7-8 says "You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and and surround me with songs of deliverance". The Bible isnt a made up book, let me start from here. If you were to take 10 people: 5 following the "rules" of the Bible, and 5 not following the "rules" of the Bible, who would be better off? I heard on the radio, either 91.9 or 106.9, that the Bible are our guidlines. The Lord gave the words of the Bible to different trusted men to copy down for all to hear and read. From personal experience, following the guidelines of the Bible have helped me so much, and made me so happy. Dont get me wrong, there have been times where I've not followed them correctly: but nobodies perfect! Cept God :) But anywhoos, peole wonder what makes Christians so happy? JESUS MAKES US HAPPY! Helllllllur?!

If you were to really think about this, and I have ... many, many, many times ... why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God? What other purposes would we have on Earth? The Bible says we are to spread the love and the name of Jesus, and to save our brothers and sisters correct? It just makes sense! Ha! Could you really possibly believe that we evolved from Monkeys? Or that a tiny little cell created us? Or even (whatever the big bang theory is) could have created us? What purpose would we have? How could something like that create us, create our minds, and create us to be on the ONLY planet with life? Hmm?

I just dont understand, how people dont see this: PURPOSE. Again I repeat, what other purpose would we have on Earth other than to serve God?!

THERE IS NO OTHER PURPOSE ON EARTH OTHER THAN TO SERVE GOD!

I've felt the Holy Spirit, I've heard God speak to me, and I've seen Jesus change my life: I know God is real and I know He is the reason I live, move, and have my being. It just confuses me, seriously, that people dont understand this. I cant get this out enough, I feel like Gods telling me to push this: WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE ON EARTH OTHER THAN TO SERVE GOD - because God wants to reunite with all His beautiful children in Heaven one day. We need to save souls, and follow the one who sent His son to die: its not asking alot really. I cant describe this right, I truly cant. Oh wait, download from God:

Were not here just to work, and get tons of $$$$ so we can buy nice cars, live in nice houses, party it up, drink all the alcohol we want, sleep with all the people we want to, and eventually run our lives into the ground. Most people think thats what lifes about. It just seriously amazes me that people want to WASTE it lke that. Life is precious: life can be short. If you really think about how complex the body is, do you seriously think we could have evolved from monkeys? Could a cell seriously make us into something like that? Look at this for a moment, and tell me God did not create us:

This is laminin. Laminin, is protien that forms the subtrate of all internal organs. Overall, laminin keeps our bodies held together. Its not by accident laminin is in the shape of a cross, or that it holds our body together. I personally think of it as a remembrance, and a true shown fact that God created us. God knew the world, and knew us before He even created the Earth. He knew He would have to send his only begotten son to die for us, and loookie: He placed a cross inside our body to keep us together. Now tell me, that God didnt create us or this world?

Yes, this post is scatterbrained and I apologize! But I just wrote as I felt God speaking, and as I felt it coming. So, thuur ya have it.

Why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God?

And if our God is for us than who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, than what could stand against?

About me?

I've been blogging for like, 4 or 5 months now: and I realized some people who read my blog probably dont know me. So, heres what I have to say about myself;;


Im 16 years old, 5'0 and a junior in high school. I live in North Carolina, and I want to go to Huntsville Masters Comission / U of M. I drive a Honda Element, and Sarah & Marion named it the box: she's my baby :) Im a dancer, and I do colorguard at my school. Even though I havn't done it in 2 years, cheerleading is stilll something I love to do. I work at a steak house, and Im a hostess there. I tend to work out on the Wii Fit alot, just because the games make me giggle. I LOVELOVELOVE Disney movies, and I can be such a little kid. Sometimes, I get a bit self concience. My style changes alot, and I dont like to be labeled: unless the label screams Jesusfreak. Im at church more than twice a week, and its my second home. I love bright colors, and big purses. Books are one of Gods greatest creations: I love to read! Worship music consumes my iPod, because it just absolutely lifts me up and its amazing. I text, but it just gets annoying honestly. I love to sleep: like, seriously.

Oh, but the most important thing about me?






Jesus Christ has changed my life & He is the ONLY - repeat - ONLY person I live for.



Hope that covers it, :)

Quick post!

Just feelin' some stirring from the Holy Spirit while eating my banana here, so its gonna be a short one!


Just for a second:
Think of how God sent His son to die, and how much He loves you. It was a bit of a struggle for me. Four years, and Im just now actually feeling Gods love. I definitely dont want people going as long as I did without reaching out to Him, and asking for his presence.

Last night at church, I was praying over a friend of mines sister, and she was begging the Holy Spirit to overtake her: and she is a freshman in high shcool. It just goes to show that you dont need to be any age, any height, any color, any weight: why? BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU! He made you, created you, loves you, and wants a relationship with you more than anything! I know its not long, and its somewhat scatter brained ... but this is just a short somewhat inspirational little thing I felt God pushing me to post :)


- Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

Prophetically Speaking.

Alright, alright. I told you I would post what Sean, Barbara, and Brandon Smith said about me at Verge camp: and here it is loves!


Well, okay. So in the previous blog it talks about how Barbara called me up to the altar. When I got up there, she told me to lift my hands to God & so I did. She then directed her daughter, Brittany (bestrongjustbelieve.blogspot.com) to stand behind me and pray for me. So Barbara was in front of me, Brittany was behind me, and soon into prayer I felt one of my pastors (Elizabeth) come up to my left side and pray over me. But I know also that my youth group and some of the other students I'd met at Verge had their hands stretched towards me from the audience.


So I get up there, and I have my hands raised towards God, and she starts saying things over me. I watched the video of the service the other night and took notes. You might think: "You dont even remember what they said about you? Something that powerful?" Honestly, no. I was S0 in the spirit! I remember like, 2 things they said ... and others were just telling me what her and Sean had said. But I watched the video, and this is what I wrote down:

[ Barbara speaking ]* You have a presence of God *There is an Esther over you *You've set yourself apart *This week at Verge has taken you deeper *Purity is writen on you *You are a worshiper *His presence comes so strongly on you *You have a glow of the Holy Spirit *You have great destiny *You may seem like a quiet person *God is so big in you *You are an example *Verge took you to a new level *The atmosphere changes around you *Your an interceeder *God has favor over you. [ Sean speaking ] *Esther *Your prayers are answered, because you pray the will of God *You have an abiding place *You dance upon the Lord *God/man have favor over you. [ And Brandon said to me ] God wants you to know that you have a mighty mouth. You may be small in statute, but you have a mighty mouth for prayer.

Im not trying to brag on myself in all this, but just the power of God and the Holy Spirit. It humbles me EVER so much that this happened. Sometimes, I still just cant believe they called me up there and spoke these things over me.

God is good, God is great: and thats all there is too it :)




Holy is our God, wonderful is He, holy is the Lord almighty. To the one who reigns forever, to the ancient of all days: be the glory, power, majesty and praise.

Thats what Verge can do -

July 26th - 30th of 20x, I spent the days on the sunny beach of San Destin Florida & in some of the most amazing youth services in the nation. Now before I go into full out detail, let me just tell you about Verge and what it is.




Verge camp was downloaded into the minds of pastor Scott & Britt of the Rock in Huntsville, Alabama by God. For 5 days, churchs from all around the southern part of the US come together to worship Jesus, and have fun. We stayed at the San Destin beach resort, right on the water, and man was it amazing! There was tons of fellowship, and tons of Jesus.


My room consisted of 2 leaders and 6 girls (including me). Our villa was huge! & there was tons of yummalicous food to keep us all sustained for these five days. Now the bulding where we had service, is so hard to describe. When you walked in, to the right was the Lost & Found and a place to sign up for beach activities. Farther back behind that was the restrooms and phones. To the left was a table where they were selling TONS of merchandise such as Huntsville Masters Comission shirts, Verge 2010 shirts, Manafest Revolution shirts, Eyes Around tshirts, Eyes Around CD's, and Citizen CD's. Back farther behind the merchandise booth, was a large open area (obviously used for conferences), set up with a few tables and water jugs incase we got hott (cause ya know, it was only a billion and 3 degress outside all week). Straight infront of the merchandise table, was the "entrance" to the sanctuary. When you walked through the long black curtains, it was the most amazing setting ever. Tons of chairs set up just like a normal church. In the back center was the media stand, with the cameras / comptuers / lights / etc. Then straight on up was the stage. With tons of lights, a large screen to see on, and mics galore! (sp, ha).

Now onto the lifechanging stuff;



-Before Verge had started, I was in an awful relationship & I definitely rebelled against the Lord ... for awhile. He was trying so hard to show me His love, and pull me closer to Him but I just absolutely would NOT let Him. So finally, once I had enough of the relationsihp, I broke up with the boy and I started, somewhat, to aim more towards God. I kept asking him things, and just asking him to talk to me: and He wouldnt. Except for the Sunday before Verge, He said one word to me: reconciliation (hence 2 posts below). Im not gonna go back into that, but this is just the start to Verge. There were so many questions I had in my walk such as: should I be going to church here? Do You truly love me God? What do you want me to do? Just so many questions, and I needed a confirmation.
-Once we got to Verge, I automatically felt the presence of God ... as always. The services started going, and the worship started, and I was all over that stuff man. I LOVE to worship God! Especially to upbeat, fast paced music like they have at Verge. So Monday night, Tuesday morning & night, Wednesday morning I was all over the altar worshiping, taking notes: you name it. I felt God, and I was starting to feel His love, but it just wasnt definite yet. (Im about to sound a bit scatter brained, so I apologize in advance). I had also been begging God to heal me of my broken heart for a little over a year now, and I felt him preparing my heart for that. Ok, back to the other story.
-Wednesday night, Sean Smith preached his AMAZ!NG message, and started doing his healing thing (as I like to call it). He did this last year and he did again this year. God revelaed to him people that needed healing, or that Sean needed to speak things over, and Sean / Barbara (his wife) called them up to the altar. So about 4/5 people in, Barbara took the microphone from Sean & said: "Theres a girl here, with a lime green shirt on ... yes, she's over here. Yes, you. your friend just looked at you ... yes, you just looked to your left. Yes you, come on up here". Yeah: she was talking to me. So I went on up there, and she prayed for me and her & Sean just spoke some amazing things over me (Im not going to put that in this blog, its too much! I'll post another one later with all of that in it :D).


That night definitely took me to a WHOLE new level of intimacy with the Lord. I gained my gift that night as well: Im an intercessor - [According to Websters dictionary] 1. The act of interceeding; 2. Prayer, petition, or entreaty in favor of another. So basicalllly, I pray for others :) & I must say, its absolutely amazing! As soon as God gave me my gift, I put it right in motion. I prayed for three of my dearest friends, and all 3 of them received their prayer language (speaking in tongues before the Lord). 2 more friends ended relationships they knew they wernt supposed to be in, because of prayer (not just mine, but because of prayer and Gods love). But also, this was such a confirmation for me: and that was actually one of the things Barbara had said to me. Also, my heart has been healed. One of the interns at our church named Kayce prayed for me Tuesday night, she prayed hard that the chains on me be broken: somehow, she knew what was going on. God took the bondage from me, He broke the chains, and His love set me free. Its definitely a testimony that I need to share, and I know He will allow me to use it to save others :)

Verge changed my life, radically. It definitely made me think over my life, and decided to re - dedicate my life to God. Im no longer wishy - washy: Im ALLLLLL INNNNNNN for God this time. As Kim Walker sings in her song "I Surrender": No turning back, I've made up my mind, I'm giving all of my life this time.