Tonight.

I miss blogging. I've literally had NO time. But anyways;




Tonight I was blessed with the opportunity to be a student teacher at my dance studio. It probably doesnt seem like a huge deal, but to me it is. I've ALWAYS loved dancing. I remember when I was younger, making up dances to whatever music I could find. My friend Brenda told me "Yeah, you've got the point of a dancer" (referring to my toes, ha). I didnt start dancing until I was in 4th grade.

Then when we moved to North Carolina, I didnt start dancing until 10th grade again, because I was so angry that we had to move. My 10th grade year, I took tap and jazz. This year, 11th grade, Im taking tap and ballet/lyrical.



So anyways, I went to the class today, really not knowing what to expect from a bunch of 6 - 10 year olds. But man was I in for a treat! Those little girls were just the cutest bundles of joy ever! They were all so energetic, and sweet: so precious! It was also just so much fun to be able to help them with something I love so much: which is dance :)

I've been begging God for hinge moments lately, and I believe this is another one that I've recieved. Im asking that God would supply me the patience, endurance, and love to pour into these girls. Even though their young, I can still do it, haha.






GOD IS AMAZING, cliche, but true :)





I've given my life to the ONLY One who makes the moon reflect the sun. Every starry night, that was His design. I've given my life to the ONLY Son who was and is and yet to come. Let the praises ring: He is everything!

Just a simple update!

So, its actually been pretty interesting you see.

Back before I went to Verge camp, whenever people would hate on me about God, I'd be SO rude about it: and I would completely veer (vere?) off on them and lash out right? Well lately, somethings COMPLETELY changed!




I've had alot of "haters", if you will, lately on Facebook / Formspring / and even my blog! But its interesting, because it doesnt phase me anymore. I mean, of course Im a bit hurt and a bit upset: but I know thats just the devil trying to strangle me, and pull me down. HAHAHHAA SUCKKA; IT AINT WORKIN' THIS TIME! (As Pastor Terri Furr says "Not me, not today, NOT ANYMORE!") Its just so awesome how I can finally respond in a Godly way to these people who are eithr faithless, hopeless, or lost. Its SUCH A BLESSING! I've been begging God for opportunity lately, and I truly feel like this has just been test after test, but some also attacks.


This is going to be really short, but I just wanted everyone to know THAT I, SAMANTHA ELIZABETH ALVARADO AM A JESUS FREAK. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE: FROM NOW UNTIL I MEET MY DADDY IN THE SKY; I WILL WORSHIP AND PRAISE HIM & HIM ALONE.



End of public anouncment :)




Indescribable, uncontanable: You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name - You are AMAZING God!

So much to say.

Today is September 11th, 2010 - 9 years after the hijacked planes were crashed into the twin towers in New York city. My heart definitely goes out to those who lost family members, co-workers, boss's, friends, loved ones, children, brothers, sisters, parents, and grandparents. Last weekend we had a special guest come to church to preach the word. His name was Sujo John: Sujo was in the North tower when the planes crashed.

I remember his story so clearly, it was a terrifying one indeed. (Just to sum it up a bit) he was in the North tower when the plane struck, and his wife was in the other tower when the second plane struck. Sujo made it out safely, and was able to pray with a man. One thing that stood out to me the most: was the fact that he was calling out to the almighty God when he was stuck in the rubble. Not Allah, not Buddha, not a cow: nobody but God.

God is good, let me just start by saying that. Yes, many lives were taken during the September 11th attack: but I know many lives have been saved since then as well. Sujo and his 4 month pregnant wife were both out of the towers, and saved from the accident thanks to Jesus. Sujos story impacts many around the nation, and saves souls daily.

America has just lost SO much faith in the Lord, which is extremely obvious. I saw a billboard the other day that said "One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all". Now, whats wrong with that? To any non Christian bystander, Im sure they wouldnt even notice whats missing. Every morning when I say the pledge of allegiance, thats the part that I say with ALL my heart. "One nation, UNDER GOD". I still believe that, and I know others do to: I just wish some of us would start acting like it. I have 2 things Im trying to accomplish through this blog, and so they're going to run together. Hopefullly it makes sense :)



There are many americans who go to church, and claim to be Christians: but they dont live the right life. I know MANY of those people, and it bugs the mess out of me: let me be honest. I have a friend, who set his Facebook status as this:

"lol, some people have all of this stuff about Jesus on their profiles...but then I scroll down and see F-bombs, GD, all this filthy crap, and secular supporting mess..what the heck is wrong with you? you're seriously not following the same Jesus who I know" - Josh Vernon.

I love that! Its so true! For the longest time, I had tried to find a way to put that. I had made my Facebook status something like that at one point, and it offended many. I had wondered what I said wrong, then I realized I didnt say anything wrong: it was the Holy Spirit convicting those people, and they just didnt want to admit it! Im so thankful God works in that way. That He can convict, and sometimes those folks just dont understand it.

My friend Chessa asked me the other day "How many people do you want to have?" (Referring to our weekly Meet me at the Pole) & I said "The entire school" - and I wasnt kidding. This year, my goal is to reach as many people as possible. I find myself praying CONSTANTLY during the day, which Ive never done before. I find myself talking about God CONSTANTLY during the day, which Ive also never done before. God is just so good, and He's already changing Northwest. Praise the Lordddd :)




If My people who are called by My name shall humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from Heaven, forgive their sins, and heal their land.

READ ALL ABOUT IT.

Alright. So, I was at lunch last Friday right? The bell had rang, and we were all getting up and headed back to class. All of a sudden, I hear "BAND THUD CLUNK" and a see a fellow classmate on the floor, surrounded by boys laughing at him. Now this, straight broke my heart.

God, for one, has really begun to break my heart for the things that break is. He's truly softened my heart, and changed me: which I love. I didnt go help him or anything, because I was honestly too scared. When we went back upstairs and were walkking down the halls, the guys laughing at him were pushing him into the walls. The only thing I said was "Alright guys, lets stop being immature". Thinking back on this, I really wish I would have stepped in and done something. I kept praying for opportunities at school, and I believe that was one I passed up.

We had read a story in AP English about a woman who was stabbed 3 times and killed. But the kicker, was the fact that 38 people witnessed the murder and never called the police. The point of the story, was that becaues so many people saw: they all relied on the other person to call, so they wouldnt have to do it due to fear. That really made me think about Friday, and I think thats how I was. I was expecting someonelse to stand up for him, so I wouldnt have too. But I know God has me at Northwest for a reason: I know he wants me to change it. It was just such a striking moment. I thank God for it, but I also just cant believe I passed it up.

Friday after school, I was standing in the parking lot waiting to leave. Someone from work called me about working that night, so I was on the phone with her. When I looked up, there was a girl stopped in front of me waiting to leave the parking lot. She looked at me, and said "Oh that b****". I was extremely shocked, honestly. Of course it hurt my feelings at first, but then I realized who am I to care what she thinks? Im a child of God. Im smart, beautiful, and forgiven. As I was driving home I was really upset over this, and kept thinking to myself "What did I seriously do to make someone call me that?" As she was pulling into another neighborhood, the person she was driving home flicked me off, and that hurt me as well. I tried my best not to show it, because I had someonelse in the car with me, but I really wanted to cry.

As soon as I got home I started talking to 2 people I know I can trust: Jessica Phillips & Kiersten Jacobs. Love them! They both truly just helped me get through that, and I realized it was just the devil trying to get at me: and after I actually realized it, I calmed down. Because I know who I am, and I know what he was trying to do: he DID NOT suceed :)

As a more positive note on this akward post, I was in 1st period the other day. I overheard my teacher say to another student "I dont know, its just something about this year. It seems less ... stressful. Just something about this year ..." The first thing in my head? Yepp, thats God working at Northwest! How exciting huh?




My school is such a dark place, and I hadnt realized it until this year. I'd always heard it was, but I never noticed it. But now, Im just so ... aware of it. Walking down the hallways, I can feel the demonic presence and its scary. Everyday when I walk down the halls, I have to pray for safety & I ask God to just lead me to people. I know God has amazing things for my school. He's already given me visions; I just cant wait to find the people to help me put those visions into action :)




Wanna die, but I dont. Wanna cry, but I wont. I've come too far to turn back now; I am redeemed my lifes been bought.

We are lucky.

As I was laying in bed last night, I couldnt help but think about how lucky I was. Yesterday was such a stressful day for me.

In first period, I was extremely tired. And my teacher said something that I couldnt tell if she meant it in a rude way, or a joking way. So that upset me a little. Second period was awesome, as always. Third period just makes me angry. Im always starving in that class, plus algebra just bugs me. I dont like doing the work. Then fourth period ... ah. Dont even get me started on AP English.

So I had (have) homework in all four classes right? I had a worksheet & vocab for Science, a monologue to memorize for theatre, some problems for algebra, a butt load of bookwork, some vocab, and a book to read for AP English. On top of that, I had guard practice afterschool from 3:00 - 6:00. I did some homework inbetween there, because we had a game from 7:30 to around 10:30. And when I got home, I just wanted to snap.

I think what hurt me the most, is when my mom texted me. She said something like: "I miss my E&MP (which stands for eldest and most precious). Come home already." And that really just broke my heart. I miss spending time with my family. Most of us just take them for granted, because they buy us things. Or when they make us mad, we just ignore them. But just think about how lucky we are to have them.

Gods given us certain parents for a reason. I used to always hate my stepdad. Like, literally hate him. But once I let God in my heart, something changed. My stepdad and I are defnitely working on the relationship & the relationship between my mother and I has just grown. For the most part, I tell my mom everything. And we talk about everything. We joke around, we tell eachother "I love you", and its awesome.

But on the flip side to that, my dad lives in Florida. (I have 3 dads. My stepdad, my biological dad, and the dad whom I call dad because he raised me. My biological dad, I do not really consider my dad). The last time I saw my dad in Florida was about a year or two ago. Its hard, it really is. We always tell eachother good night, but we dont really get to talk during the day: thanks to my busy schedule.

But like I said earlier, we just take so much for granted. I was laying in bed praying last night, and I was just thanking God for everything. My bed, my clothes, my pillow, my shower, my car, my pencils, my school supplise, the fact that I have a school to go to, my colorguard team, my parents, my siblings: and the list just goes on. We have SO much to be thankful for. I've never been on a missions trip, so Im not positive what its like in other countries. But I do know there are places less fortunate than us, where students dont go to school. And I know we hear about that alot, but I think everyone has lost a heart for those people.

The other day I was driving home from church, and I saw this man walking home from Food Lion. I'd seen this guy there alot, because he worked at the Food Lion right across the street from my house. I saw him walking home, and it truly broke my heart for him. God has really just opened my eyes lately, and just showed me what I need to be thankful for. Because for a while, I was always saying: "Ew, this food isn't good enough. Im tired of colorguard. I hate this school work. I wish I had that car." Etc, but now Im just thankful for all those things. Im ESPECIALLY thankful for my parents! Sure I have to pay for my gas, and school suplise, but my parents keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. They also supply me with support and love (God also supports me with that, dont get me wrong!).

I think thats the biggest thing we take advantage of, is our parents in life. They're the ones who God placed there, and they've raised us, fed us, clothed us, nursed us, loved us, and helped us. We need more respect towards them!



I dont know why I wrote this, especially in such a weird fashion. But this was on my heart, and I was up early. And I know that when Im up early, its God wanting me to write.




Praise the Father, praise the Son, and the Spirit in one!

Junior Year - day 1.

Today, was actually a good day. I got up around 5:00 or so, because my mom decided she wanted to raid my closet for clothes. Ya know, normal mom stuff. So I wake up at 5:00, and try to fall back asleep (cause I had my alarm set for like, 5:45 I think), then my cats like banging my door with her head. So, I laid in bed until 5:43 when I finallly decided I would let her out.

Then I got in the shower, did my hair, got dressed, put on some eye liner, did all that fun stuff.
Then I went downstaris to get my breakfast & what not. Saw my sistor in her cutie pa tootie school outfit, and saw her off to school. Then I left, and thats when it really began.

This probaly sounds SO dumb, but I had so much fear inside of me. I was so scared to park in the parking lot. I've never been ANY good at parking, so it just made me that much more nervous you know? But, I didnt do too shabby ... someone parked behind me, which makes me feel a bit better. Ha. But I really felt alot of fear inside of me heading into school. I think mainly because MMATP starts tomorrow? And after just seeing SO many people there, the devil was really trying to scare me out of it. & I'll admit, he did a fine job for a minute there.

Then I got to thinking: do these people really even matter? Who matters more?

God > peers. <-- & thats how I think of it.


So now, Im extremely pumped for Vertical tonight. I was sitting here, doing the page of Algebra homework I was assigned and I had on the song "Kingdom"? Man, my spirit was like banging to get outside of me. But then I felt bad, because I didnt do anything /: But for Vertical, I seriously just cant wait tonight. Were all going to split up (into our different schools) and were going to pray tonight. I just cant wait, because I know God is going to do great things this year. Thinking back on it, there are SO many people we can change this year: for the better.


(Sing this like the Lion King song, k?) OH I JUST CANT WAIT FOR THE KINNNNG! :D

Freedom: its here.

"Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Freedom reigns in this place. Showers of mercy and grace. Falling on every face, there is freedom".

There were points in time a few years back when I thought I'd acheived freedom from the things the devil used to bind me up: turns out, I never did. If you've read my "Thats What Verge Can Do" post, then you know a little about how I was set free.

I had my heart broken in June of '09. I dealt with that, for about 2 years & duringg those 2 years I did so many things I knew were wrong. I was always angry, always lashing out at the ones I loved and treasured. I was doing impure things with guys I knew didnt care about me, and I was just trying to fill the void in my heart where that boy had once been. At first when it happened, I was just in shock. I honestly never thought that situation would happen to me. But also, I wasn't in a very good relationship with God. I was one of those "Sunday & Wednesday worshipers". Never read the Word, never prayed, never worshiped outside of church: & I thought I was good to go - NOOOOOPE.

So after my heart was broken, I kept asking God: "Why? I thought you cared. Can't you see Im in pain? Im obviously calling out for you, why wont You help me?" I was in so much pain, it made me backslide more than anything. My sophmore year in highschool was tough for me. Because I'd acted like I was healed, and I was free: but I knew in my heart I truly wasn't. I passed up so many opportunities to meet with the Lord, all because I wouldnt trust Him anymore. I had put my trust in a boy who I had thought was strong in the Lord (not that he isn't now, he just wasn't then). And after that ended, I just blamed God for everything. Because I had my trust in the wrong person, for one. And two, I didnt even have a right relationship with him.

But at Verge, when I was freed, I stopped asking Him why it happened & started praising Him and actually thanking Him that it happened. If God wouldnt have let me go through something like that, I know I would not be where I am now. Im happy, Im secure in who I am, and Im in an amazing relationship with my Father.

At Vertical last night Porter was talking about how we always ask God "Why?" & how we try to figure Him out. Like Porter said, God created us: theres no reason we should try to figure Him out: HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING! Its just funny, because I catch myself diong that alot. Whenever I dont understand something, I'll just ask Him why. But now Im starting to just say: "Ok, if its Your will let it be done Father". Last night also, the worship band started out playing one of my FAVORITE worship songs "Holding Nothing Back" by Melissa How. I'd used to jump around to it, and sing real real loud to it: but last night I just actually felt it. Like I said, I'd never been free before until after Verge. Last night that song truly hit me, and the words really spoke to me. Here are the lyrics:

I am chosen, I am free. I am Living for eternity. Free now forever.
You picked me up, turned me around. You set my feet on solid ground. Yours now forever.
And nothing’s gonna hold me back. Nothing’s gonna hold me back. Nothing’s gonna hold me back
My chains fell off My heart was free, I’m alive to live for you. I’m alive to live for you. Amazing Love, how can it be? You give everything for me, You give everything for me Everything.
You washed my sin and shame away, The slate is clean: a brand new day, Free now forever. Now boldly I approach your throne, To claim this crown through christ my own, Yours now forever. And nothing’s gonna hold me back, Nothing’s gonna hold me back, Nothing’s gonna hold me back: My chains fell off My heart was free, I’m alive to live for you, I’m alive to live for you. Amazing Love, how can it be? You give everything for me, You give everything for me.
I’m free to live, Free to give, Free to beI’m free to love you.

Thats a condensed version of it, but do you see the point? The words really just hit me like a water gun: it was so powerful! Man oh man did the Spirit wash over me then :)



But after worship, Porter went back on stage and looked extremely dissapointed. I was hoping he was dissapionted at the same thing I was: which was the fact that some students stood there with their arms crossed. Yes, he was upset about that too. He said it as well. And once he started talking about it, the Spirit overtook me again and I started balling my eyes out. Thats when I decided: Im going to make the love of Christ known to everyone, no matter what it takes. I was weeping for the students who didnt know Jesus's love: its the most amazing thing in the world! I just couldnt believe it actually. That God would lay something like that on me. I truly believe now, that Im going to be able to use my testimony to not only save girls lives, but also to help them find the love of Christ: and that, is my dream.





"& now Im free to live, free to give, free to be Im free to love you. My chains fell off my heart was FREE, Im alive to live for You: Im alive to live for You. Amazing love how can it be? You gave EVERYTHING for me, You gave EVERYTHING for me".