He calls me, Rosebud.

I took a class called Thrive at my church, every Wednesday from January 27th - February 24th. It was a four week class, about finding greater freedom. Thrive \'thriv\: to grow vigorously; to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances; flourish. I took the class because of some difficulties I'd been having. Imma be honest: I have a broken heart right now. And that is the main reason I took Thrive, was to gain freedom from my heartbreak and to break the chains off of me, the bondage. I took this class, and the first two weeks I gained things. The last two weeks, I completely slipped up and didn't pay attention. But anyways, thats not what Im writing about.

The last class, one of the pastors leading the class told us to take a few minutes and just talk to God. He said to ask God of some things he wanted to say to us, and show us. So, I did. Wanna know what God said to me?:

"You are beautiful."

"Im the person You can have a real relationship with, and You can trust me."

Those things hit me the hardest, just let me tell You. I struggle with self image problems, and this is the only time I've ever made it public, go figure right? And, Im afraid of relationships: with people in general. I have a major fear of rejection. I dont exactly understand this right now, but I beleive God will show me in his time.

God also showed me an image when I closed my eyes. The image of the hills up there? Yepp, that was it. Haha, funny story actually. Well not funny, it was just God being himself :) Sorry, I find God as a humorous man.>

So this image that I saw at Thrive, okay. Refer back to the image above. Now, imagine that: but with God and I. Its kinda hard to describe, but I'll do my best :D Were holding hands, and were frolicing (silly word, but its the only way I can truly think of to describe it.) He was dressed in a white gown, pure as snow. His brown hair was flowing in the wind, as was his gown. I was dressed in all white. A dress, You see, which was also flowing in the wind. He was telling me things, and it was just an amazing thing. (Hope that describes it!)

Its kinda funny, everytime I pray, I get distracted S0 easily by the devil. I think about that image, every time I pray. I believe that God gave me that image for that specific reason: hay - ho, praise God :)

I love my daddy. Oh! The title! Seems like it has nothing to do with this post, correct? A leader at my Youth group was talking to me just the other day, and she told me ... gah, I dont remember the exact words. But she told me that I was Gods little Rosebud. I believe she said: "He calls You his Rosebud." I remember awhile ago we went to Cook Out, and she told me: "Your just starting to open up, and He's showing me things about You." She also said that Wednesday when we talked. I just love that. He calls me Rosebud.

I knew there was a reason I loved the name Rose, :)