So, I really dont know what I think about love anymore. I see these people all over Facebook and Myspace, claiming their in love. To be quite honest, I get jealous: extremely jealous. I want someone to love me. Someone to call me beautiful; tell me Im special; hug me; hold me; kiss me; love on me. Thats not too much to ask for, is it?But I just dont get it. I know what Earthly love is, I've been in that once. Ha, heals over head to be exact. Everyone brags about Godly love, and I want that. I've heard oh so many people tell me how to obtain it, but I just cant seem to do so.
So what exactly am I trying to say? I honestly have absolutely no idea. This is my overall view of love, if You will:
1. It scares me.
2. Im scared of rejection, basically.
3. It can hurt.
4. It can last for a short period of time, or a long period of time
5. It can be beautiful, and wonderful
Hmm, I believe thats all I can really say about it. I want it, yes. But ah! So, so scary.
Sometimes, I just look at these children who claim their in love and I just want to say: "Your not in love, You dont deserve to be in love. Why? Because IM not in love, so You shouldn't be."
How awful is that right? Im not sure how to change these feelings toward love. I know God needs to work in me about that, and Im trying to let him in. But what happens when he gets to close? I run, and I run fast.
"I dont know what to think about love. Its been so twisted and mis - used, Im not even sure what it is anymore."
- Samantha Alvarado.
Beautiful. Extremely beautiful. I know how it is to be out of love just wishing to be in love again-but in a way that will actually mean something. Not just some guy saying he loves you with nothing real behind it. Since I severed my last relationship I keep trying not to let anyone get too close though I find some people so fascinating. Everything is a balancing act,I've come to find, and sometimes I'm so off balance. Great job.
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