UPDATE.

So, I haven't blogged in ages. Haha.

Here lately, I've been dealing with a lot. The devil is literally controlling my mind right now. I had the WORSTE break down the other day. I was laying on the floor, contemplating suicide. I know a lot of people KNOW I am strong in my faith, but I'm not perfect. So, please don't judge me on this, because I will make it out strong. I know it.

I wasn't eating, but working out. I was considering suicide. Considering leaving someone who does nothing but help me. Considering running away. Considering cutting...the devil was really trying to get at me. I'm real thankful I listened to GOd when He told me to text Deshaun and Bekah...they both helped me out, a lot. But I'm getting stronger daily. I'm listening to my heart, and not my mind. My mind is telling me that there is no point for me to live another day. No point for me to be cheerleading, or dating Zach, or eating, or doing anything. But I know God has big things for me. So, yeah :)


But, I got a job. I am now a hostess at Lonestar Steakhouse, and I start training tonight. Haha. Kinda nervous, but very excited and blessed to finally have a job. (Which is another reason I feel like the devil was getting me, because everything is going so well for me right now!)

I am also the coach for Upward cheerleading at Trinity! The director, Chrissy, called me earlier and told me there was no coach...so she asked me how old I was, what school I went too, and if I had time. I was like dude...I'll make time. Haha. So, I'm gonna be real jam packed my senior year, with sports, coaching and school, but I can do it. I believe this coaching, and coaching 7th grade, is a blessing from God. He knows how much I love cheering, and I believe this is a way He is gonna speak to me.

SO, listen to this. Ok, so my senior year I'm taking:
AP psychology, AP biology, AP literature (MAYBE. I'm thinking about switching), shop 2, practical law, honors US history, pre-calculus, and symphonic band. I'll also be re-taking my ACT in October/November, along with my SAT.

I will be coaching Upward cheerleading, probably on Thursdays, for one hour before cheering on my JV girls. Then, at their games Saturday mornings for an hour-two hours. I will be at my varsity cheerleading practices every day of the week, with games on Fridays. I will be coaching 7th or 8th grade 2 days a week, with their games on Wednesdays. I will be doing colorguard, some practices on Tuesdays, and performances on Fridays. I will also be working weekends, after Upward games.

This sounds like SO much to me...because I know that it is. This is like me last year...I had something I was doing every day of the week, but was still able to pay for my gas and insurance, so I know God'll provide for me. This is a blessing, and I'm so excited to take on these things.

Cheerleading is a passion of mine, and I truly believe God is letting me use my passion to help minister and express His love to these girls.

I CANNNN''''TTTTTT WAAAAIIIIT.


Anyways, I'm gonna go sleep before work. Ok,tooooodals.

Pray for me? Please? Shanks :)