Zachary and I are reading "Boy Meets Girl: Say hello to courtship", by Joshua Harris. It's really opened my eyes to dating, and how it should honor God. Here's just a simple list of things I wish I'd known before dating so many times before:
1. God knows who you're going to marry.
I'd dated so many guys before, but only thinking one was the one I'd marry. I wasn't truly following God though, so then I didn't know that I was totally living in sin. God knows the plans He has for us, it says so in Jeremiah 29:11. So, I wish I wouldn't have given my heart to so many people before I found the right one.
2. Love isn't love without God in the relationship.
I had "loved" guys that I'd dated. I say "love", because I told them I loved them, but I don't think I felt love but once. We tell our "other" that we love them, because we want that feeling of acceptance, and "ownage" in a sense. But you can't seriously love without God. Like, God created love and made it for us to enjoy. I personally don't believe that we can honestly feel love unless God is in the center of it. Because He destines who you're to be with, therefor He knows the love that will take place, because I loves us more than anything, ya know?
3. PHYSICAL ISN'T WORTH IT.
Sex is not worth having in a relationship. In a sense, making out or even kissing isn't either. As Kayla Detar once told me, "Kissing leads to babies, so don't kiss guys". I wish I'd have listened, haha. Some people believe in a relationship "Well, this person and I are going to be together for a long time: I know it. So we're just gonna have sex because it feels good, and I wanna be close to them." Like, sure it brings you close to them, but once you realize that you're not meant to be together and you break up, it hurts like a muthha: trust me. It leaves you with unecessary baggage, and heartbreak.
4. Wisdom brings a good relationship.
That's one thingMr. Harris brings up in the book, is that in order to have a good relationship, you have to have wisdom. Godly wisdom, I mean. But also from leaders If nobody is speaking into your relationship, then what good is that? We don't keep our relationships hidden, we express them through PDA, Facebook, etc. But we also talk to our friends about them too, correct? Sometimes our parents, our aunts/uncles, cousins: we tell people about our relationships. If we tell the wrong person about our relationshipk, we could easily get the wrong advice/influence. I know not everyone is a Christian, and not everyone is going to go to a Godly person to seek wisdom, but I must be honest, we are some of the smartest people when it comes to relationships, because we're in a relationship with the One who created love and relatinoships Himself ya know? So...gaining wisdom and knowledge in a relationship can make it soar!
5. Putting up with abuse isn't worth it.
I've dealt with physical/emotional abuse in a relationship, and I can tell you upfront it is NOWHERE near worth it. I put up with it because, like I said, I "loved" the guy I was with. Looking back on it, I just can't believe I just sat there and dealt with what he was doing. No girl, or guy, should ever compromise themselves for a guy. Not only changing your appearance or personality, but not letting someone abuse you! PHysically, emotionally, sexually: it just doesn't bring good to anything! And if someone is doing that to you, then God MOST CERTAINLY WITHOUT A DOUBT has someone uch better for you.
I know these are only 5 reasons, but I believe that they can be helpful to someone who reads this...and I pray that they do! :)
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