2011.

Well, its 11:42 pm. The only reason I'm up right now, is because I got off work about an hour ago, and I had to eat dinner. This awful stomach ache of mine just wont go away either, so that always helps.

I really dont see whats so awesome about the new year. I mean, sure: its another year into the future, but still. Everyones like "I LOVE CHANGE!". Well then you shoulda changed 3 weeks ago, ya know?




Blah, anywhooooos.


In 2011, I want to focus on God. I want Him to own every single aspect of my life, and I want EVERYONE to know it. In 2011, I want to be more patient. When I'm drving, while I'm walking around the mall, when people cut me off; I just wanna have more patience with other people. In 2011, I want to bless more people. I want to be able to have God encounters with strangers, and I want to be able to speak to them about how amazingly fantastic the Lord is. In 2011, I wanna figure out the Lords plans for me (if its His will at that time). In 2011, I want God to use me in ways He never has before. In 2011, I want to read the ENTIRE Bible. Maybe not front to cover like that, but jumping around. In 2011, I wanna make more of the right decisions. In 2011, I want to be nicer to those who are rude to me. Well, I just wanna be nicer in general. In 2011, I want to save lives. In 2011, I wanna minister! In 2011, I want to sleep in till 2:00pm. In 2011, I want to see the world change: in a good way. In 2011, I wanna see a new president. In 2011, I want my family to start attending church regularly. Hey, in 2011, I wanna loose weight. In 2011, I want to loose feelings for the boy who has hurt me dearly. In 2011, I wanna raise my GPA tremendously. In 2011, I wanna make my parents proud. In 2011, I wanna pray publicly for every meal, and for any person who asks me to pray for them. In 2011, I wanna save up lotts of money and buy a car. In 2011, I wanna buy an iPhone. In 2011, I wanna go on a missions trip. In 2011, I wanna make new friends. In 2011, I wanna go ice skating. In 2011, I wanna go to a Skillet concert. In 2011, I want to be able to turn away from gossip and wrong decisions. In 2011, I want to be encouragment to those who are fallen. In 2011, I wanna guide the lost. In 2011, I wanna help other. In 2011, I wanna be a leader. In 2011, I wanna play the drums. In 2011, I wanna apply to colleges. In 2011, I wanna see my daddy/Brenda/family in Florida. In 2011, I wanna buy my first rifle. In 2011: yepp, I'm gonna shoot my first deer. In 2011, I'm gonna be at baseball games every Saturday with my uncle.
And in 2011, I'm going to trust God with everything, and give Him the complete and utter attention He deserves. I'm going to give Him my all, and let Him take the reigns.

Listening to the Lord.

So, its 6:58 ... I got off work at 4:00, and went to the mall: man was it packed! It was a complete madhouse, and I was only at Carolina Mall. But what surprised me was how nice people were there. Usually people (including myself) are angry, and stressed at the malls this close to Christmas. Nah, I wasn't.


BUT ANYWAYS, my mom called me and was like "Hey, can you get me some Starbucks? That can be my Christmas present!" (joking), but I got her some anyways. As I was sitting in the drive through line, I heard the Lord speak to me. I looked to my right and saw two woman standing at the bus sign (waiting for the bus ... that sounded akward). I felt led to buy them drinks from Starbucks. I said to the Lord "I really dont have any money ... I just spent hundreds on family ..." But still, I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to buy drinks for them.


When I got up to the window, the guy repeated my order and I asked him if I could please add 2 more drinks to my order. He asked me what kind, and I told him "2 caramel apple ciders please". SO I got the drinks, and pulled around the building. I parked a few feet away from the woman, grabbed the drinks, and headed over there. When I approached them, they started looking at me weird. I looked at them and said "Hey!" One woman just kinda gave me a look like "hmm?" the other lady said "Hi" (she had the "hi" like a "what do you want?")

I said to them: "Well hey, as I was going through the line at Starbucks I felt led by the Lord to buy yall some warm drinks. Yall have got to be cold out here! So its just some caramel apple cider!" They both lightened their moods, and their faces were just priceless! They thanked me a few times, and I told them to have a very Merry Christmas. They told me thank you again, and said Merry Christmas.


As I was turning around to drive home, I saw the bus come to pick them up. It was so PERFECT the timing of the Lord, because I was so afraid after I bought the drinks the bus would be there. But it was perfect, because I was able to give them their drinks right before the bus came :)





As I was walking through the mall earlier, I said "God, I just wanna bless someone". Proven point, God answers prayers :))




You are more than my words will EVER say, Lord.

Why can't you see?

I was driving home for Odell today (I was cheering with the babies today, it was great). As I was driving through one of the numerous intersections I encountered, I couldn't help but notice the expression on my face: EXPRESSIONLESS! The Lord spoke to me and was like "Look around, listen, how can you be expressionless?"


So, of course, I took His word.





I started singing the song I was listening to (I love Your presence), and I started looking at the things all around me, and realizing how awesome the Lord is. It put a smile on my face, thats for sure.


It was someting I needed to share, because I know so many of us (humans) go through our daily lives not noticing what we TRULY have. We have houses, internet, clothes, family, trees that give us air, people to give us love, and life: life more abndantly! I know for a fact that the Lord has given me SO much to be thankful for, and I'll admit, I dont always thank Him for it. But when $$$ comes in, He's the first person I thank/pay. It usually hits me when Im laying in bed what I'm thankfulf or the most, and I thank Him for it as I lay in His arms.



You are good, all the time, and Your love endures forever.


He is good, He is ALWAYS good; even when there is nothing good in us.


OHMYGOSH, I love the Lord.






Joy unspeakable that won't go away, and just enough strength to live for today. So I never have to worry what tomorrow will bring, cause my faith is on solid rock: I am counting on God.

How many of you have I fooled?

So many people have asked me lately: "Arn't you nervous? Are you gonna miss NC? Are youc oming back? Are you even sad?" My only response has been: "No, Im excited." But boy have I lied.


I came home tonight from diner with 2 good friends of mine, to see the "FOR SALE" sign in our yard. Needless to say, it hit me.


IMMA MISS:

THE NORTHWEST CABARRUS TROJAN REGIMENT. Northwest in general. The Refuge. Pastors Eric/Amanda/Porter/Marvin/David/Nathan/Darr. Lets Dance Studio. First Assembly. Vertical. AnnaElyse. Kelsey. Leah. Justin. Tylor. Colin. Austin. Cody. Kayla. Auriel. Julia. Ashley. Shannon. Shaniqua. My big brother, Nicholas McFalls. Jessica. Bekah. BBarb. Northwest guard. Warm weather. Competitions. Verge. Crazy sleepovers. Parades. Inside jokes. Whattaburger. Jay's loud truck @ 10:30pm. Serry Chemon Lundrop. CHICKFILA. Wearing sandals in November. DAN PENTZ! Bekah Efird <3 Rass, & her theatre classes. My pink bedroom. Hanging out with the band geeks/drumline. AP English. Having a pool 300 steps away. North Carolinians. Southern accents. Rednecks. CAMO !$%& My friends. My class. Haley Stewart. Bobbi Jo Rosser, and her house alarms. Band parties. Concord Mills / Northlake. Tsunami. Texas Land & Cattle.

- This isn't even the start of everything.







Dont get me wrong, I cant wait to go. I know its the will of God on my life right now, and I've declared many times: "Let YOUR will be done in my life, not mine." He's letting it be done. Im nervous, Im scared, Im terrified, Im frightened, Im stoked, Im pumped, Im clueless, Im ... emotionally wrecked. But you know what? God'll keep me safe, and I know that. I just cant help but realize how scary this is for me. I mean, everyone asks me: "Your gonna be new, and nobody is gonna know you. Arn't you scared?" I mean, yeah dude. Like I told Colin, Im a short person ... whos gonna wanna talk to the new short girl right? Im sure they'll mistake me as a freshman anyways. But whatever. I've always been a social butterfly, and I hear I have a bright personality: I know God will help me. But Im nervous ... oh so nervous. And anxious ... and sad ... but excited. And prepared, but not emotionally.




January 17th, I'll be saying goodbye to North Carolina.

Psalms, anyone?

I was on Facebook, almost as always. I have an "app" called "God Wants you to Know", and I had a new "message" from God. I always look to see what it says, because 9.6 times out of 10, it always applies to me ... and I truly believe its a way God speaks to me. So I clicked on it, and it said: "God wants you to know that when you do the right thing, it will feel good in your body. Your body never lies. When you feel stress in your body, something is out of balance in your life. Restore the balance, and your body and spirit will reflect the rightness of your spirit". This totally applied to me today! I had an awful day today, and yesterday actually. There's just something about this week thats just tearing me up inside, and angering me. After I read this, I immediately knew that there was something out of balance in my life: my one-on-one time with God.

So I asked Him I said "God, take me somewhere in Your word". I have a Bible app. on my phone, and I use it all the time. (Not that I dont use my paperback version, LOVE IT!) But I felt the Lord lead me to Psalms 18, and so I read the entire tihng. It was funny though, because I have my iPod going right? & the song 84 comes on, which is pretty much a song about Psalms 84. It was so awesome.

So I read all of Psalms 18, and I almost cried. Ok, I teared up a little. The title of the chapter is "The Lord Is My Rock and My Fortress", which just applies to me in so many ways right now. Throughout the chapter, its just praising the Lord for all the good & marvelous things He has done. Here lately, I'll admit, I've just lost a passion. Pastor Jay always says that worship should be at the center of everytihng we do, and that just hasn't been happening for me lately. But after reading Psalms 18, it really just made me think.

Psalms 18:4 'The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; (5)the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. (6)In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached his ears.' - He hears me when I cry out to Him. No matter my circumstance, no matter what I have done: He hears me, and He responds to me.

Psalms 18:16 'He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. (17)He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. (18) They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. (19)He brought me out into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me"- The Lord, THE ONE AND ONLY LORD, delights in me. When I called out to Him, on that cold September night in 2006, He reached out and began a work in me: because He delights in me, and loves me just that much.

Psalms 18:31-42 'For who is GOd, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? The God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back till they were consumed. I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet. For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me. You made my enemies turn their backs to me, and those who hated me I destroyed. They cried for help, but there was none to save; they cried to the Lord, but He did not answer them. I beat them fine as dust before the wind; I cast them out like the mire of the streets." - The Lord gives me strength. He holds me firm, and keeps me steady. He gives me salvation, mercy, grace, love, patience, kindness, endurance, and so many other things.


MY GOD, IS AN AWESOME GOD. I love Him. Yes, I love my Lord with everything I am. I will raise a banner up in Jesus name, I will be love lit on fire. I will let the Holy Spirit burn on the inside. I'll be color to the black&gray, I will be clay in the potters hand: and I will be light in a darkened land.

:)

I didn't know what else to call it ... I may change the name later. I dont know. What I do know, is that God wants me to write: so, thats what Imma do.



This past week has been rough for me. Theres been alot going on, and we just got back from house/school hunting in Michigan. While we were there I had a re-occuring (sp?) leg pain going on. My kneecap was like, popping out of socket or something, and my hip (both on my right leg) just had this horrible stinging pain going on. It literally felt like my hip bone was trying to poke out of my skin. Owch.


I met with a friend of mine and we discussed a few other things, and she really helped me realize what was going on: the devil, duh. I mean, I knew it was him. But when Bekah was telling me some of the things she was telling me, it was intense. Like, good intense. She was speaking things into me that were just amazing. I didn't realize it at the time, but now I find myself declaring those over me allll the time. Ha.



But what I was really wanting to write about, was something that happened a moment ago. This morning I woke up, and I just felt this spirit of depression floating around me. For anyone who knows me, I've been SET FREE from depression, so it was weird that this was coming back. Theres just been a situation that the devil has been using to hurt me, and its honestly been working. I went to church this morning, and the message was amazing! I felt the spirit of the Lord, and He even had a word for me ... which dealt with the situation the devil had been throwing at me. Then I went over to First Assembly, which was a great service as well. The situation got worse though (READREADREAD! Im NOT saying First Assembly was the reason, other things. Haha.) The service was great, but when I walked out the same spirit came over me. As I got in the car I put in the new CD I had burned, and started listening to "Inside", Jared Anderson. Such an amazing song. But nothing changed. I was singing the words, but didnt feel anything.

When I got home, I came in and went to my room. After cleaning up a little bit, I was goign to sit down and start my homework. But instead, I just fell on my bed and began to cry. Something inside my heart was just producing so much pain. The "situation", I'm just going to call it, had seriously been hurting me SO bad. It reminded me of previous pains that a same "situation" had brought, and I absolutely knew in my heart I DID NOT want to deal with that again. So as I was laying on my bed, I cried out to God and asked Him to just help me. He led me to Jeremiah 3:4 which says "Have you not just now called to me, My Father, you are the friend of my youth-". Gotta admit, I was confused. He spoke to me again and led me to Jonah 1:6 which says "The captain came and said to him what are you doing sound asleep? Get up, call on your God! Perhaps the god will spare us a thought so that we do not perish". So, I called on God again. Reciting His word, and speaking positive things over myself. I had my iPod on, and the song "I Am" by Mark Schultz came on. The Lord just spoke to me through it. I remembered the line "I am the mighty God your Father" speak to me so strong through that it was amazing! I felt compelled to just stay laying on my bed for a moment, and as I did the song "Starry Night" by Chris August came on. One of the last lines of the song says "I've given my life to the only one who gave me hope when I had none". Stuck out to me, of course. The Lord just truly spoke to me through those songs and He's just given me peace now. I mean, the situation is there ... yes. But I've decided I'm NOT going to let it affect me, or hurt me. I'm going to walk in what God says, and if the situation works out? So be it. If not? So be it!



Psalm 84 - "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God".

"I am the fount of living water, the risen son of Man, the healer of the broken. & when you cry I am, your Savior and Redeemer, who bore the sin of man, the author and perfector, beginning and the end: I am".

So, I'm in ?Michigan, for anyone who doesn't know. My apologies if some words are spelt weird, I got a Droid for my birthday and it spells words for me. Haha. But just a slight update, its been rainy the past two days ... yuck. We looked at a scholar today named western high school. Its really nice, actually. 800 kids, AP classes,honors classes, and just about everything I want. Haha. Its nice up here, I think I'm really gonna like it. I can't wait to see what God does up here!
:)

Just an observation of mine.

Pastor Eric has said it, and Pator Porter has said it, along with many others I'm sure. But once you state your a Christian, people will watch you for it. Correct? I've noticed that everyone I know that has called themselves a Christian, I have begun (began?) watching ... heartbreaking to say, but I'm dissapointed in what I see.


Its been brought to my attention MANY times that everyone makes mistakes, and you know, I know that everyone makes mistakes. Dude, I'm like the master of mistakes over here: you name it, I've probably done it at some point or another. But there are TONS of people I see throughout the day who will come to the MMATP circles in the morning, pray a tremendous prayer, walk away, and cuss like sailors. I'm not writing this blog to bash on those people, but I'm writing this to make a point. The point? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE ARMY OF CHRIST?




Yes, tough times come and things get rought, which is happening to us right now. But thats when you just have to keep the faith, and live strong off of God's word. I honestly don't understand how people can say one thing, but do another. Hmm. Know what this makes me think of?


"Hey wait a minute, if they both came from the same pot, how could one be hot and one be cold? Weird." <---- A line from the play were doing in theatre, ironic? Nah, God.


God is our pot, and we all came from Him. He created us, named us, FIRST loved us, and knows everything about us. What is happening to the army of Christ? Dude, He's coming back soon ... does that scare anyone? I wouldn't wanna be cussing when He comes down on a cloud, I tell you what. Theres so much we could be fighting for, especialllly at Northwest, I see it all the time. But nobody wants to step out, including me. I'll admit, I'm nervous ... but if God pushes me hard enough, you bet your butttons I'll do what He wants. Michigan? I'm fighting for it. I'm going up there to fight for souls. What does the army do? They fight, I think for souls. Haha.


I'm going off on tangents, but anyone who knows me knows that this is how I write ... especially Mrs.Stavrakas, she knows that. Anywhoos, its just something I've noticed myself doing. I have "Christians" in every single one of my classes, alright maybe not first period, but my other three classes all are filled with people who consider theirselves Christians. It honestly just breaks my heart to see the things their doing, and all I can say is that the devil has a slick way with his moves. AEKLJF 39UEL!@#$%^?AJGD(*&^yhj. Gosh, I hate him.



I pray for them, all day everyday, everytime I see them I pray for them. I pray that God would sweep over them with His love, mercy, and strength to stand up for what they know is right. I love them, no matter what, they are my brothers/sisters in Christ.




Just a small, small observation.




Lead me to the cross, where Your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself I belong to you, oh lead me.

Jesus said to his disciples: “If anyone wants to come after me, let him disown himself and pick up his cross and continually follow me. For whoever wants to save his soul will lose it; but whoever loses his soul for my sake will find it. Mathew 16:24-25.

Veterans Day, 11/11/2010.

Last night I was at Zach's house, because we were watching movies ... band geeks.
We decided to watch "Taken", which I've only seen 7,000 times: but I absolutely love that movie. I never really thought about it, but Leah happened to bring it to my attention, that we don't have sex trafficking / human trafficking in America.


& I realized that I'm relally thankful for or veterans to be fighting for us like that.

My grandpa was in the war (I'm honestly not sure which one ...), my friend Garrett just left for training, my best friends dad is in the army, and my uncles have all served in the marines. I never really thought about how special that is, but looking at America, I realize it now.


I'm thankful that we dont have trafficking here, because we have people fighting for rights. I'm thankful we can have freedom of religion, because we have people fighting for our rights. I'm so thankful we have freedom of speech, freedom to petition, freedom to protest, and freedom of the press: because we have people fightng for our rights.




I'm thankful for America, and the freedom we have. I hear alot of people (Yes, I've said it once myself as well) saying "I HATE AMERICA. WHY CANT I LIVE IN LIKE CANADA OR SOMETHING?" But you know what? America may not be perfect, but if you think about it, we have people trying to do whats best FOR US. Not alot of places have that you know.




So anyways, I'm very thankful for our veterans, and those who have/are serving. I send a prayer to the families who have lost family members in the war, as those were brave hearts. Again I say: thank you veterans!



"My contry 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrims pride, from every mountain side: let freedom ring".

Hey, prayer warriors.

For anyone who reads this, let me start off by saying this isn't a post like my usual posts. Its more of a request, actually: just my for-warning.



As some friends of mine know, I am moving to Michigan. We have decided in December of this year, we will be moving to Jackson, MI. I'm a bit nervous, as it is my junior year, but at the same time I'm extremely excited.


My parents asked me if I was willing to move, because my stepdad was offered an amazing job up there, MI. So, I prayed about it and really didn't know what to do. Pastor Jay was preaching a moment entitled "Hinges: Lifes Pivitol Moments". One of the points made were "Sometimes, hinge moments are hidden in unusual tasks". So, one of my lovely coworkers (Mama Kimberly) told me to stop botherin' Jesus about it, and embrace my hinge moment: so, I did. Haha. I decided that I was willing to lay down everything here, and do what God wants me to do up there.

That being said, I'm asking for prayer as of now.



Prayer for: God to just open up a school, house, job, and sports for me. To pray & agree with me that He will lead me to a church where I can call home. That God would give me opportunities to minister there, and at school; and that He will also just guide my steps as to my future. For my parents, that God will give me divine opportunities to lead them to Christ. For my siblings, that they will be comfortable in their move and will make new friends and find Christ. That Holy Spirit will just guide me and help me through this, and to NOT worry about what I'm "leaving behind" but what I'm embracing. Lastly, and for those in the area where we are moving: that God will prepare them for whats coming.


Thank you guys who will agree with me in prayer, and will continue to pray for me. It means more than anything I could say through words :)

The 1st of November.

All I've done today is clean; not that I have a problem with cleaning, but I've only been outside once today and that was too push my brother on the swing. Oh, and I babysat today. It is currently 3:23, and I woke up from my nape 20 minutes ago. Like I said, I cleaned today. I did the dishes, put away all my laundry, my brothers laundry, and my sisters laundry, switched out the loads, cleaned up the living room and my bedroom, had my siblings clean their rooms, and yeah. It was a pretty eventful morning. After having nothing to do, I decided to lay down on the couch and sleep: sigh, it was a marvelous nap actually.



Yesterday at church Pastor Jay was preaching a message entitled "Conquering Opposition", week 4. He was talking about Nehamiah (sp) and how they were conquering something. I dont remember the details, but I remember the big points. Haha. Pastor Jay related it back to the church by saying that sometimes, we just need to give and stop taking in. By taking in, we were going to become Spiritually obese. Today, I felt like I was giving. I did so much for my family today, and it made me feel amazing inside. Usually on a day like this, I would lay around and do homework or read, or stay online (though I was online today, I wasn't online allll day). I also worked out, so that was also something I did for myself. But as for giving, it was great giving to my family!




And now, I am going to get ready, and then head to Madis in a few :)







Light light light up the sky, You light up the sky to show me that You are with me.

Oh, halloween.

I started to capitalize the word "halloween", then I realized it didn't deserve a captial h.


Anyways, I dont understand why girls find it necessary to wear the skimpiest outfits on halloween. I truly dont. I dont understand why halloween should even be "celebrated" by anyone over the age of 10. I mean, going around for candy in short shorts / dresses, and low cut shirts? I sure as heck would not give anyone dressed like that candy, heck no.


Its so so so so so so so so so so sad that the devil has peverted halloween to the point where girls are dressing like this, and being comfortable with it. What happened to girls dressing like fairies? And princess's? Whats so wrong with that? Even bumble bees, those outfits are EXTREMELY ... never mind.


Gosh, I go off on so many tangents. But I dont know where this was going. I needed to get this off my mind, because it just makes me SO sad that this happens. I mean, I was in that place once too, and I wanted to dress with anything that showed my skin. But now, I see no point. Looking back on it, I dont see a point. Well, I take that back. I wanted guys attention. But now, Im in love with the BEST MAN EVER! He has complete control of my heart, and He just makes everything so amazing. Best thing? I dont have to dress skimpy to get my God's attention. He knows my name, knows everything about me, knows how many hairs are on my head, and loves me despite the mistakes I've made in life: He doesn't care if I show skin. He loves me anyways, and thats what makes me SO happy :)



I LOVE JESUS YES I DO, I LOVE JESUS HOW BOUT YOU?!








My soul sings, my soul sings, my soul sings: how I love You.

Hmph.

Im a bit surprised that I was able to log onto my blog here at shcool. It is currently 10:17 am, and I am sitting in lab 234 supposably (sp) writing my 5 - page play. Well, I already wrote it, and I already finished my descriptive narrative re write for AP English, so what else was I supposed to do?


As I'm sitting here, I've heard tons of conversations just float all around. For some reason, I've been alot more of a listener in this class than a speaker. I dont think its a problem, I just think its more interesting than anything. I hear talk about prom, talk about birthdays and anniversaries, "oreo baseball teams", actors, Google Earth, hockey, and I even hear gossip. Its just some of the most interesting things to hear, actually.


I wonder what people would talk about if Jesus was sitting in this room right now. Would they be talking about the game last night, and who won? Would they be talking about how ugly that girls clothes were this morning? Would they be cussing and swearing at computers? It makes me wonder what that day is going to be like when Jesus returns.


I'm really excited, but I'm also really nervous for some of the people who think they're living right, but aren't. Im not saying I'm living perfect, because I'm not perfect: none of us is. I've come to notice I blog about this alot, but I cant help it because its one of the biggest burdens on my heart. When people think they're going to Heaven because they call themselves Christians. That title has depreciated tons and tons and tons, and its sad. Its such a beautiful thing being a Christian, and I just want EVERYONE to know what its like: being extremely happy, never having to worry about anything because God is there and supportive, I want peopple to feel that never ending love that God gives us FREELY!


Im not sure where this was going ... I know it would have been alot longer, but the bell is going to ring soon and I have to make sure I have everytihng turned in on time ... I'll probably finish this later. But for now, au revoir!






You are more, You are more than my words will ever say. You are Lord, You are Lord, all creation will proclaim. You are here, You are here in Your presence Im made whole. You are God, You are God, of all else I'm letting go!

Brainfarrrrrt.

Well, I guess its not really a brain fart. But I havnt blogged in weeks! Which makes me feel awful /: So I kinda just wanted to letcha know whats up with me:



God is amazing, first and foremost. He's supplied me with SO much lately, and has just been so so so so so faithful! At our MMATP this past Thursday, we had two guitar players & amazing singers leading worship for us ... what an amazing encounter we had with the Lord! I cant wait to see what else He does :) My family is just awesome. We may actually be moving to Michigan, but were not positive yet. I think we find out next week? Even though we were supposed to find out last week ... haha. Im not sure if I wanna move? Or if I dont. I would love to move, because I believe I could do SO much with God up there, and I could make new friends and everything. But watching the seniors walk across the field today? I wanted that to be me ... I'd hate to leave Northwest, I've already been here 6 years; why not finish it off? Guard is good. We have 3 competitions left ... and were gonna beast them, no lie. We went to Western Carolina last weekend, and it was like 32 degrees I believe? Yeah, our uniforms have NO sleeves. It was COLD to say the least. Its been an interesting season, not gonna lie. Im still considering joining winter guard ... but Im not sure if I can afford that; money wise & time wise. Dance has been so amazing this year. Im taking ballet & tap, and after 3 years of dancing, I've found the classes I like the most! In ballet were doing Beauty and the Beast (& for those of you who have seeen my status's about B&TB, thats probably why I've wanted to watch it so much). For tap, were doing Black Horse and a Cherry Tree, that old song: thats good. Haha. I also get to teach the intermidiate class ... It hink thats the name? The 6, 7, and 8 year olds: haha. Their all so so so precious! Its so much fun to be able to help them, and lead them in something Im good at and LOVELOVELOVE doing. Oh yes, boys. I actually have been talking to a boy for the past 3 weeks or so. He's a great guy, and Gods got His hand on the relationship ... we'll see where He takes it :) School has been interesting. Im acing 1st & 2nd period, I probably have a C in 3rd period, and Im still failing AP English ... but Im trying in there! Deffinitely not as hard as I could be ... but I am. Works been ... boring. Haha. Monday, Wednesday and Sunday nights. 5-10 pretty much every night. Plus tomorrow (Saturday) Im working 10:30 - 4:00, and 6:00 - 11:00. Wahooooodie!



Well, I think thats as much as I can get off my mind. If any seniors happen to stumble upon this, I just wanna say:

CONGRATULATIONS SEN11ORS :)
(^Someone by the name of SARAH told me that I put 2010, instead of 2011, so now I feel like an idiot ... but thanks Sarah :))





That is alll;

Im running to your arms, Im running to your arms. The riches of your love, will always be enough. NOTHING compares to Your embrace. Light of the world, forever reign!

This just stinks.

I think I may have, well possibly, stated this in EVERY OTHER BLOG I'VE EVER POSTED.



I would rather have someone claim to not be a Christian, than have them claim to be a Christian and live the wrong lifestlye.





I get on Facebook, and see TONS of people that have things in their "about me" or have status's about God / Jesus / Christian music lycirs. I scroll down and see things that say "kicka***, b****" and everything else you can imagine: it tears me apart and makes me so angry. Helllllo somebody, that RIGHT THERE is what gives Christians bad names!



Not only that, the people I see doing this, are those going around doing un Godly things. I see it: daily. There are people who probably dont think about it, but its interesting: because thos are the things I notice daily. It might sound mean that I say that, but its the truth. I would rather people claim to not believe in God, than live the wrong lifestlye. Even that can help save them more, than lying and living in sin you know?


The name of a "Christian" is being depreciated daily. Through movies, the media, and more than anything: teenagers. Obviously less and less teenagers are clamining to be Christians, which is bad in itself. But on top of that, those who are claiming to worship the king, wont live right. So those who are interested in becoming a Christian, see that 1 Christian thats nto living right, and it turns the non - bleiever away: ITS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH! WE COULD BE SAVING SOULS!




That is my biggest thing. So many souls to save. When I wakl around school, I just beg God to let me save people. So far, He's letting me. I want that for others too, because I know thats why were here: to make His name known!




I've been wanting to do this for awhile, but now is literally the only time Ive had to blog. This all just flowed out of me ... my apologizes for mispelled words, or me going off on tangents.





Forever I will tell You, yeah I'll scream until it hurts. That I cant live without You, You are Heaven I am earth. And even from the moment that You saved my life I knew: that I'll ALWAYS love you.

Tonight.

I miss blogging. I've literally had NO time. But anyways;




Tonight I was blessed with the opportunity to be a student teacher at my dance studio. It probably doesnt seem like a huge deal, but to me it is. I've ALWAYS loved dancing. I remember when I was younger, making up dances to whatever music I could find. My friend Brenda told me "Yeah, you've got the point of a dancer" (referring to my toes, ha). I didnt start dancing until I was in 4th grade.

Then when we moved to North Carolina, I didnt start dancing until 10th grade again, because I was so angry that we had to move. My 10th grade year, I took tap and jazz. This year, 11th grade, Im taking tap and ballet/lyrical.



So anyways, I went to the class today, really not knowing what to expect from a bunch of 6 - 10 year olds. But man was I in for a treat! Those little girls were just the cutest bundles of joy ever! They were all so energetic, and sweet: so precious! It was also just so much fun to be able to help them with something I love so much: which is dance :)

I've been begging God for hinge moments lately, and I believe this is another one that I've recieved. Im asking that God would supply me the patience, endurance, and love to pour into these girls. Even though their young, I can still do it, haha.






GOD IS AMAZING, cliche, but true :)





I've given my life to the ONLY One who makes the moon reflect the sun. Every starry night, that was His design. I've given my life to the ONLY Son who was and is and yet to come. Let the praises ring: He is everything!

Just a simple update!

So, its actually been pretty interesting you see.

Back before I went to Verge camp, whenever people would hate on me about God, I'd be SO rude about it: and I would completely veer (vere?) off on them and lash out right? Well lately, somethings COMPLETELY changed!




I've had alot of "haters", if you will, lately on Facebook / Formspring / and even my blog! But its interesting, because it doesnt phase me anymore. I mean, of course Im a bit hurt and a bit upset: but I know thats just the devil trying to strangle me, and pull me down. HAHAHHAA SUCKKA; IT AINT WORKIN' THIS TIME! (As Pastor Terri Furr says "Not me, not today, NOT ANYMORE!") Its just so awesome how I can finally respond in a Godly way to these people who are eithr faithless, hopeless, or lost. Its SUCH A BLESSING! I've been begging God for opportunity lately, and I truly feel like this has just been test after test, but some also attacks.


This is going to be really short, but I just wanted everyone to know THAT I, SAMANTHA ELIZABETH ALVARADO AM A JESUS FREAK. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE: FROM NOW UNTIL I MEET MY DADDY IN THE SKY; I WILL WORSHIP AND PRAISE HIM & HIM ALONE.



End of public anouncment :)




Indescribable, uncontanable: You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name - You are AMAZING God!

So much to say.

Today is September 11th, 2010 - 9 years after the hijacked planes were crashed into the twin towers in New York city. My heart definitely goes out to those who lost family members, co-workers, boss's, friends, loved ones, children, brothers, sisters, parents, and grandparents. Last weekend we had a special guest come to church to preach the word. His name was Sujo John: Sujo was in the North tower when the planes crashed.

I remember his story so clearly, it was a terrifying one indeed. (Just to sum it up a bit) he was in the North tower when the plane struck, and his wife was in the other tower when the second plane struck. Sujo made it out safely, and was able to pray with a man. One thing that stood out to me the most: was the fact that he was calling out to the almighty God when he was stuck in the rubble. Not Allah, not Buddha, not a cow: nobody but God.

God is good, let me just start by saying that. Yes, many lives were taken during the September 11th attack: but I know many lives have been saved since then as well. Sujo and his 4 month pregnant wife were both out of the towers, and saved from the accident thanks to Jesus. Sujos story impacts many around the nation, and saves souls daily.

America has just lost SO much faith in the Lord, which is extremely obvious. I saw a billboard the other day that said "One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all". Now, whats wrong with that? To any non Christian bystander, Im sure they wouldnt even notice whats missing. Every morning when I say the pledge of allegiance, thats the part that I say with ALL my heart. "One nation, UNDER GOD". I still believe that, and I know others do to: I just wish some of us would start acting like it. I have 2 things Im trying to accomplish through this blog, and so they're going to run together. Hopefullly it makes sense :)



There are many americans who go to church, and claim to be Christians: but they dont live the right life. I know MANY of those people, and it bugs the mess out of me: let me be honest. I have a friend, who set his Facebook status as this:

"lol, some people have all of this stuff about Jesus on their profiles...but then I scroll down and see F-bombs, GD, all this filthy crap, and secular supporting mess..what the heck is wrong with you? you're seriously not following the same Jesus who I know" - Josh Vernon.

I love that! Its so true! For the longest time, I had tried to find a way to put that. I had made my Facebook status something like that at one point, and it offended many. I had wondered what I said wrong, then I realized I didnt say anything wrong: it was the Holy Spirit convicting those people, and they just didnt want to admit it! Im so thankful God works in that way. That He can convict, and sometimes those folks just dont understand it.

My friend Chessa asked me the other day "How many people do you want to have?" (Referring to our weekly Meet me at the Pole) & I said "The entire school" - and I wasnt kidding. This year, my goal is to reach as many people as possible. I find myself praying CONSTANTLY during the day, which Ive never done before. I find myself talking about God CONSTANTLY during the day, which Ive also never done before. God is just so good, and He's already changing Northwest. Praise the Lordddd :)




If My people who are called by My name shall humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from Heaven, forgive their sins, and heal their land.

READ ALL ABOUT IT.

Alright. So, I was at lunch last Friday right? The bell had rang, and we were all getting up and headed back to class. All of a sudden, I hear "BAND THUD CLUNK" and a see a fellow classmate on the floor, surrounded by boys laughing at him. Now this, straight broke my heart.

God, for one, has really begun to break my heart for the things that break is. He's truly softened my heart, and changed me: which I love. I didnt go help him or anything, because I was honestly too scared. When we went back upstairs and were walkking down the halls, the guys laughing at him were pushing him into the walls. The only thing I said was "Alright guys, lets stop being immature". Thinking back on this, I really wish I would have stepped in and done something. I kept praying for opportunities at school, and I believe that was one I passed up.

We had read a story in AP English about a woman who was stabbed 3 times and killed. But the kicker, was the fact that 38 people witnessed the murder and never called the police. The point of the story, was that becaues so many people saw: they all relied on the other person to call, so they wouldnt have to do it due to fear. That really made me think about Friday, and I think thats how I was. I was expecting someonelse to stand up for him, so I wouldnt have too. But I know God has me at Northwest for a reason: I know he wants me to change it. It was just such a striking moment. I thank God for it, but I also just cant believe I passed it up.

Friday after school, I was standing in the parking lot waiting to leave. Someone from work called me about working that night, so I was on the phone with her. When I looked up, there was a girl stopped in front of me waiting to leave the parking lot. She looked at me, and said "Oh that b****". I was extremely shocked, honestly. Of course it hurt my feelings at first, but then I realized who am I to care what she thinks? Im a child of God. Im smart, beautiful, and forgiven. As I was driving home I was really upset over this, and kept thinking to myself "What did I seriously do to make someone call me that?" As she was pulling into another neighborhood, the person she was driving home flicked me off, and that hurt me as well. I tried my best not to show it, because I had someonelse in the car with me, but I really wanted to cry.

As soon as I got home I started talking to 2 people I know I can trust: Jessica Phillips & Kiersten Jacobs. Love them! They both truly just helped me get through that, and I realized it was just the devil trying to get at me: and after I actually realized it, I calmed down. Because I know who I am, and I know what he was trying to do: he DID NOT suceed :)

As a more positive note on this akward post, I was in 1st period the other day. I overheard my teacher say to another student "I dont know, its just something about this year. It seems less ... stressful. Just something about this year ..." The first thing in my head? Yepp, thats God working at Northwest! How exciting huh?




My school is such a dark place, and I hadnt realized it until this year. I'd always heard it was, but I never noticed it. But now, Im just so ... aware of it. Walking down the hallways, I can feel the demonic presence and its scary. Everyday when I walk down the halls, I have to pray for safety & I ask God to just lead me to people. I know God has amazing things for my school. He's already given me visions; I just cant wait to find the people to help me put those visions into action :)




Wanna die, but I dont. Wanna cry, but I wont. I've come too far to turn back now; I am redeemed my lifes been bought.

We are lucky.

As I was laying in bed last night, I couldnt help but think about how lucky I was. Yesterday was such a stressful day for me.

In first period, I was extremely tired. And my teacher said something that I couldnt tell if she meant it in a rude way, or a joking way. So that upset me a little. Second period was awesome, as always. Third period just makes me angry. Im always starving in that class, plus algebra just bugs me. I dont like doing the work. Then fourth period ... ah. Dont even get me started on AP English.

So I had (have) homework in all four classes right? I had a worksheet & vocab for Science, a monologue to memorize for theatre, some problems for algebra, a butt load of bookwork, some vocab, and a book to read for AP English. On top of that, I had guard practice afterschool from 3:00 - 6:00. I did some homework inbetween there, because we had a game from 7:30 to around 10:30. And when I got home, I just wanted to snap.

I think what hurt me the most, is when my mom texted me. She said something like: "I miss my E&MP (which stands for eldest and most precious). Come home already." And that really just broke my heart. I miss spending time with my family. Most of us just take them for granted, because they buy us things. Or when they make us mad, we just ignore them. But just think about how lucky we are to have them.

Gods given us certain parents for a reason. I used to always hate my stepdad. Like, literally hate him. But once I let God in my heart, something changed. My stepdad and I are defnitely working on the relationship & the relationship between my mother and I has just grown. For the most part, I tell my mom everything. And we talk about everything. We joke around, we tell eachother "I love you", and its awesome.

But on the flip side to that, my dad lives in Florida. (I have 3 dads. My stepdad, my biological dad, and the dad whom I call dad because he raised me. My biological dad, I do not really consider my dad). The last time I saw my dad in Florida was about a year or two ago. Its hard, it really is. We always tell eachother good night, but we dont really get to talk during the day: thanks to my busy schedule.

But like I said earlier, we just take so much for granted. I was laying in bed praying last night, and I was just thanking God for everything. My bed, my clothes, my pillow, my shower, my car, my pencils, my school supplise, the fact that I have a school to go to, my colorguard team, my parents, my siblings: and the list just goes on. We have SO much to be thankful for. I've never been on a missions trip, so Im not positive what its like in other countries. But I do know there are places less fortunate than us, where students dont go to school. And I know we hear about that alot, but I think everyone has lost a heart for those people.

The other day I was driving home from church, and I saw this man walking home from Food Lion. I'd seen this guy there alot, because he worked at the Food Lion right across the street from my house. I saw him walking home, and it truly broke my heart for him. God has really just opened my eyes lately, and just showed me what I need to be thankful for. Because for a while, I was always saying: "Ew, this food isn't good enough. Im tired of colorguard. I hate this school work. I wish I had that car." Etc, but now Im just thankful for all those things. Im ESPECIALLY thankful for my parents! Sure I have to pay for my gas, and school suplise, but my parents keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. They also supply me with support and love (God also supports me with that, dont get me wrong!).

I think thats the biggest thing we take advantage of, is our parents in life. They're the ones who God placed there, and they've raised us, fed us, clothed us, nursed us, loved us, and helped us. We need more respect towards them!



I dont know why I wrote this, especially in such a weird fashion. But this was on my heart, and I was up early. And I know that when Im up early, its God wanting me to write.




Praise the Father, praise the Son, and the Spirit in one!

Junior Year - day 1.

Today, was actually a good day. I got up around 5:00 or so, because my mom decided she wanted to raid my closet for clothes. Ya know, normal mom stuff. So I wake up at 5:00, and try to fall back asleep (cause I had my alarm set for like, 5:45 I think), then my cats like banging my door with her head. So, I laid in bed until 5:43 when I finallly decided I would let her out.

Then I got in the shower, did my hair, got dressed, put on some eye liner, did all that fun stuff.
Then I went downstaris to get my breakfast & what not. Saw my sistor in her cutie pa tootie school outfit, and saw her off to school. Then I left, and thats when it really began.

This probaly sounds SO dumb, but I had so much fear inside of me. I was so scared to park in the parking lot. I've never been ANY good at parking, so it just made me that much more nervous you know? But, I didnt do too shabby ... someone parked behind me, which makes me feel a bit better. Ha. But I really felt alot of fear inside of me heading into school. I think mainly because MMATP starts tomorrow? And after just seeing SO many people there, the devil was really trying to scare me out of it. & I'll admit, he did a fine job for a minute there.

Then I got to thinking: do these people really even matter? Who matters more?

God > peers. <-- & thats how I think of it.


So now, Im extremely pumped for Vertical tonight. I was sitting here, doing the page of Algebra homework I was assigned and I had on the song "Kingdom"? Man, my spirit was like banging to get outside of me. But then I felt bad, because I didnt do anything /: But for Vertical, I seriously just cant wait tonight. Were all going to split up (into our different schools) and were going to pray tonight. I just cant wait, because I know God is going to do great things this year. Thinking back on it, there are SO many people we can change this year: for the better.


(Sing this like the Lion King song, k?) OH I JUST CANT WAIT FOR THE KINNNNG! :D

Freedom: its here.

"Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Freedom reigns in this place. Showers of mercy and grace. Falling on every face, there is freedom".

There were points in time a few years back when I thought I'd acheived freedom from the things the devil used to bind me up: turns out, I never did. If you've read my "Thats What Verge Can Do" post, then you know a little about how I was set free.

I had my heart broken in June of '09. I dealt with that, for about 2 years & duringg those 2 years I did so many things I knew were wrong. I was always angry, always lashing out at the ones I loved and treasured. I was doing impure things with guys I knew didnt care about me, and I was just trying to fill the void in my heart where that boy had once been. At first when it happened, I was just in shock. I honestly never thought that situation would happen to me. But also, I wasn't in a very good relationship with God. I was one of those "Sunday & Wednesday worshipers". Never read the Word, never prayed, never worshiped outside of church: & I thought I was good to go - NOOOOOPE.

So after my heart was broken, I kept asking God: "Why? I thought you cared. Can't you see Im in pain? Im obviously calling out for you, why wont You help me?" I was in so much pain, it made me backslide more than anything. My sophmore year in highschool was tough for me. Because I'd acted like I was healed, and I was free: but I knew in my heart I truly wasn't. I passed up so many opportunities to meet with the Lord, all because I wouldnt trust Him anymore. I had put my trust in a boy who I had thought was strong in the Lord (not that he isn't now, he just wasn't then). And after that ended, I just blamed God for everything. Because I had my trust in the wrong person, for one. And two, I didnt even have a right relationship with him.

But at Verge, when I was freed, I stopped asking Him why it happened & started praising Him and actually thanking Him that it happened. If God wouldnt have let me go through something like that, I know I would not be where I am now. Im happy, Im secure in who I am, and Im in an amazing relationship with my Father.

At Vertical last night Porter was talking about how we always ask God "Why?" & how we try to figure Him out. Like Porter said, God created us: theres no reason we should try to figure Him out: HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING! Its just funny, because I catch myself diong that alot. Whenever I dont understand something, I'll just ask Him why. But now Im starting to just say: "Ok, if its Your will let it be done Father". Last night also, the worship band started out playing one of my FAVORITE worship songs "Holding Nothing Back" by Melissa How. I'd used to jump around to it, and sing real real loud to it: but last night I just actually felt it. Like I said, I'd never been free before until after Verge. Last night that song truly hit me, and the words really spoke to me. Here are the lyrics:

I am chosen, I am free. I am Living for eternity. Free now forever.
You picked me up, turned me around. You set my feet on solid ground. Yours now forever.
And nothing’s gonna hold me back. Nothing’s gonna hold me back. Nothing’s gonna hold me back
My chains fell off My heart was free, I’m alive to live for you. I’m alive to live for you. Amazing Love, how can it be? You give everything for me, You give everything for me Everything.
You washed my sin and shame away, The slate is clean: a brand new day, Free now forever. Now boldly I approach your throne, To claim this crown through christ my own, Yours now forever. And nothing’s gonna hold me back, Nothing’s gonna hold me back, Nothing’s gonna hold me back: My chains fell off My heart was free, I’m alive to live for you, I’m alive to live for you. Amazing Love, how can it be? You give everything for me, You give everything for me.
I’m free to live, Free to give, Free to beI’m free to love you.

Thats a condensed version of it, but do you see the point? The words really just hit me like a water gun: it was so powerful! Man oh man did the Spirit wash over me then :)



But after worship, Porter went back on stage and looked extremely dissapointed. I was hoping he was dissapionted at the same thing I was: which was the fact that some students stood there with their arms crossed. Yes, he was upset about that too. He said it as well. And once he started talking about it, the Spirit overtook me again and I started balling my eyes out. Thats when I decided: Im going to make the love of Christ known to everyone, no matter what it takes. I was weeping for the students who didnt know Jesus's love: its the most amazing thing in the world! I just couldnt believe it actually. That God would lay something like that on me. I truly believe now, that Im going to be able to use my testimony to not only save girls lives, but also to help them find the love of Christ: and that, is my dream.





"& now Im free to live, free to give, free to be Im free to love you. My chains fell off my heart was FREE, Im alive to live for You: Im alive to live for You. Amazing love how can it be? You gave EVERYTHING for me, You gave EVERYTHING for me".

ATTAK, ATTACK!

Now usually, I wouldnt blog this early in the morning: especially after I posted a blog last night. But I knew there was a reason I was up this early, I need to blog.

The devil has really been throwing things at me lately. Once we got back from Verge, he decided he wanted to sit on my bed and taunt me. After that, he tried to get me with an attitude with my parents. Then I was in a car wreck. Then there was the Monday night incident. But last night? Thats been the worste in a lonnnnnnng time. Before I go to bed, I pray every night that God would protect my mind, my siblings's minds, and my parents mind from anything the devil might throw at us. Tonight, the devil got in. But dont get me wrong, Im not saying that God doesnt listen to me and wants the devil to take me down: NONONO. I believe God will let the devil get to us A) see if we'll stand up for him, and walk in our authority & B) to somewhat "scare" us, and show us what its really like in hell.

I went to bed around 11:30 last night, and went to bed as usual. For some reason though, I heard a voice say "Expect him". I believe it was God, but I honestly was not sure. I was just expecting to see him standing in the corner again, and Id just have to cast him out like last time: not a problem, I have that authority. No, mucho grande worse mi amor.

DREAM #1: I was with Whitney & I believe Katie from work, and we were driving around somewhere. Some guy was following us, and he was keeping up pretty well with us. When we got to a card store (why a card store, I have no idea) I had to call 911, and I was literally freaking out in my dream. Once I woke up from that, I prayed that God would protect me from anything else the devil would chuck my way. When I went back to bed, I was laying on my stomach and I had my left foot out and my right one tucked up near me (weird sleeping position ... I know). I swear I felt the devil sitting on me, and that was enough to freak the heck out of me. But, I finally fell back asleep around 11:35 I'd say.

DREAM #2: I honestly dont remember how it started, and it really wasn't a long dream. But I was home, and the boy I fell in love with came to my house to talk to me. After we talked, we were in like a kitchen or something. Completely flirty, and romantic. He had his arms around me, kissing my neck, diong all the things we used to do in a relationship. And he told me: "I left her, were not together anymore". I think the devil threw this at me, because that was something I'd wished for for SO long. Is that he would leave her for me, and in my dream he did so. I also think he trhew this at me, because this used to tear me up: bad. Whenever I'd have dreams about him, or re - live the memories, I couldnt stop thinking about them or I wouldnt be able to handle the pain. Its funny to throw it in his face (the devils face) because God healed me from that. I no longer want to be with him, it no longer hurts me like it used to, and those chains have already been broken. Its kinda pathetic to watch him try ya know?


"And when the oceans rage, I dont have to be afraid. Because I KNOW that You love me: Your love never fails". This song means so much, because its so true! Nobody can avoid the storms of life: but God always walks with you through them. "You hold my every moment, You calm my raging seas. You walk with me through fire, and heal all my disease". So many songs have so many lyrics that I could use to talk about this, so I might just do so. Im mainly just trying to get a point across, as I do ALL my blogs. It says in Hebrews 13:5 " ... because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." NIV. Now, I can finally believe that: because He has never left me, or forsaken me. He's always right by my side in the situations. And ever since Verge, He's the only thing I've looked for during those situations.

I LOVE JESUS. Hehe :)





"Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name. You give and take away, my heart will choose to say: blessed be your name."

Hmm, interesting.

There was a point in my life, where things would be going awesome with God, and the devil would throw something at me and just mess everything up. Yeah, he tried again Monday.

So, okay. I had this crush on a guy, and we all went bowling together (us & some friends). But you see, he doesn't know that I have a crush on him. Blah, blah anyways. Things have been amazing with God lately, and I just cant shake this joy that the Lord has given me. So, Monday I kept praying "God, if its Your will let it be done ... if its something You have for me, let it be done". Long story short, nothing happened. He completely ignored me most of the night, ouch right? So, that night I was pretty upset not gonna lie. It was really hard for me to run to God with something like that, because this is the first "real crush" Ive had in years.

But as I was leaving my friends house this morning, I was just talking to God. Asking Him for so much. Just asking him for guidance, and help. Sure enough He did: He always does. He turned something around inside of me. Like, usually at a piont like that, I would fall into temptation and do something completely stupid to myself. But not today, I ran to God and He welcomed & helped me with open arms.

Im just trying to say, that anything is possible with God. I was talking to my friend Sarah today, and we were just atlking about how powerful His name is. Just by the name Jesus, all of hell trembles. It amazes me. I told her, I cant wait to see the power He brings when He returns.

I just wish I would have been in a relationship with the Lord ilke this months ago. I wish everyone would have a relationship with God: but then again what Christian doesn't? If I was in a relationship with Him like this months ago, I would have been saved from so much pain and loss. I remember hearing so many stories, even from friends of mine, that had been saved and hellped by God. I always believed it for them, but never for me. Today was one of the first times God has really just helped me. Its hard to explain, haha. I asked God this morning to take him off my mind, and help me focus on the right things & He did. I dont think about the situation as much, and that definitely makes me feel better. Today, I couldnt stop thanking God for everything He'd done for me. I still cant stop thanking Him ...

OKAY, sorry this is so random. Im so tired, and I needed to write about this. Sorry for my subject jumpps.

God is there, He is always there, always will be there. He is the first and the last. The beginning and the end. The alpha and the omega. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He is everlasting, never changing: He Is God.




We set our hope on You, we set our hope on the love. We set our hope on the one, who is the everlasting God: You are the everlasting God.

Cleanin Out My Closet.

I went shopping with my mom earlier today, and I was wearing shorts & a button down plaid t - shirt. I usually dont think to much about my shorts, or how short they are. Today, I thought differently. There were alot of people looking at me today at the mall. Not like, "ew, gross" kinda look. Like, a "ooh, hey mama" kinda look. Ya know? & I really was not ok with that at all. Then when I was looking at other girls wearing shorts like mine, and shorter, I realized what people were thinking: and that hurt me.


So I got home today, and I unpacked all my things from my sisters room, and I put all my clothes away. I was listening to the song "I Surrender" by Kim Walker, and I was at the part in the song where it says "All to You, Your love makes it worth it all". I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me about some of the clothes I wore. I was already planning on going to Platos Closet (which is a place where you can sell your clothes & buy higher brands for cheaper prices). I had already had a pile of things that I'd picked out the first time. But those shorts were at the top of that pile. Then I went through my closet and asked God to show me some of the things I needed to get rid of. It was hard, because those were my FAVORITE pair of shorts. But I realized wearing those wasnt helping me carry the image of Christ, and neither were a few of the other things He told me to get rid of.


Its so hard these days though, because going into American Eagle or Forever 21, the shorts are extremely short and the shirts are extremely low cut. But Im learning how to carry myself not only as a Christian woman, but as a young lady. Its also on my heart just to help other girls do the same thing. I want to be a role model in that way. I just hope God helps me to do that, and lets girls look up to me :)




All to You I surrender, everything: EVERY part of me.

Random, short post.

"Samantha, You are the HOPE for this generation, be encouraged....You cant be caught up in something you were destined to set others free of...I like your style...blessings world Changer!"


Ah! Sean Smith said this to me :)
Incase you dont know who Sean Smith is, he's an evangalist & he's pretttty amazing. Haha. He's been at the camp we go to in Florida, Verge camp, for the past two or three years. I know this may not seem like alot to anyone, but this means a heck of alot to me. I've been battling alot lately, and this just brought me up. It blessed me, and reminds me of who my strength is.




You are my strong tower, fortress over me.

Sigh.

I love my life.


"Im not into Jesus because Im supposed to be, or because I grew up with Him, or because believing is a fire escape from hell. Im into Jesus because Im way over the top with Him. I love following Christ. I love the life I have with God. I love the world the way He shows it to me. I would follow Him no matter what." - Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller.

A minute ago, I was just looking on my Facebook page. After I changed my default picture, it really just made me think of how blessed I am. I still just sometimes cant even fathom it, that I've reached this point in my life: where Im completely, & utterly happy.

Tonight at youth, we started out with a few amazing worship songs. The first one being "You are my hope". Now usually, I just cant worship to that song right ... I dont know why, but I just cant. But tonights worship was diferent than usual, in a good way of course. Or Pastor had an altar call for people he felt had given up all hope, and had no freedom. After the altar call, someone in the back of the sanctuary yelled the word: FREEEDOM! It really just kinda hit me. Like, God started replaying in my head Verge, and how He'd set me free. I guess to some extent, Id taken advantage of it and not thanked Him for my freedom. Tonight? My gosh. I just cant explain it. After being at band camp today, sweaty and tired, I told God: "You know, even though IM tired, and IM hott, and I dont feel like it: You still deserve it more than anything". So, I praised Him & man was I crying. Haha. I just still cant believe it.

I was going to start a new paragraph about the freedom I recieved at Verge, but Im going to save that for another blog ... too long :) But just know this: God is love, love has come for us all - in the words of Mark Schultz. Im extremely happy, and God is the ONLY person I have to thank for that.




Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess: God is love, love has come for us all. Every heart set free, everyone will see: that God is love, love has come for us all. - Mark Schultz.

Real Christians.

Everytime I saw someone at Carowinds today, with a "christian" tattoo, I wondered how many of them actually live Godly lifestyles.


I hear about it alot, and I've lived it: the "Sunday & Wednesday" christian. The christians who act a certain way around their parents, but diferently at school. The christians who act a certain way around church and around friends. The christians who act like everythings fine but party to get rid of the pain. The christians who destroy our reputations: the fake christians.


Yeah, you may think that sounds rude, and if it did then Im glad the Holy Spirit is convicting you. But this is just one of those subjects I get absolutely F!RED UP about. I've been in that situation, where I was a complete "go after God" type girl on Sundays, and a "flirting with temptation having sex" kinda girl every other day of the week: I was a fake christian. I didnt realize how much of an effect it had on others, until I met fake christians. I know a few (but of course Im not going to put their names on here, duh), and it absolutely kills me to see people living like this. Putting up Bible verses / christian songs on their Facebook status's, and having their "about me's" all christiany, but then going and getting completely drunk and having sex with anyone that sounds good. [Now Im going to be honest: I have 2 people in my head right now, and like I said Im not putting their names up here. This isn't the same situation all people go through, this is just from my own personal experience].

Some people might think: "Why is she getting so mad about something like this? Christians dont get mad!" Such a stereotype, might I add. The Bible says we can get angry about things that go against God & His word, and it says in the Bible (somewhere) that God would rather have us out than have us be lukewarm: He (God) says it makes Him sick. Now, that personally strikes me. I remember reading that back in my "fake christian" days, and being like: nah, nah, nah thats not me. But now that I realize it was me, and I realize that I see it daily, it hurts so bad. Not only does it wreck peoples lives, it wrecks our reputations.

I love bearing the image of Christ. Yeah, I have to give up alot, but Im gaining eternity. Ive already felt some of Heaven, and theres NO WAY I could ever want anything more than that. There are some people, I believe, that have felt Heaven but just dont want to give up the Earthly things: like I was. So there are people that do the fake stuff. Call themselves christians, and go around partying / drinking / smoking / having sex, and it just makes other people think thats who christians are and that its okay to do that: NO! NO SIR! ITS NOT OKAY TO DO THAT! Like I always say when I get on this topic, I'd rather have people say their not christians than have fake christians saying they are. Id rather have someone admit to being broken, and torn up and letting someone lead them to a true relationsihp with Christ. So many people now have the wrong impressions of christians. But sometimes, I dont mind: it just pushes me to work twice as hard ya know? But still, it upsets me still that we have to deal with this.




I think Im done for now, Im getting a bit worked up. LALALALALALALALALALA.





The Earth was shaking in the dark, all creation felt the fathers broken heart. Tears were filling Heavens eyes, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. When blood and water hit the ground, walls we couldnt move came crashing down. And we were freed and made alive, the day that true love died, the day that true love died. - Phil Wickham.

Just for a second,

Ponder this:

Why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God?

I tried to blog about this yesterday, but I just couldnt get it to make sense like I wanted it too. I asked God today what I was supposed to write, & He just said: "Erase it, and write". So, we'll see what comes out!

Sometimes, well often I guess, I get this image in my head. (If you've seen Passion of the Christ) its the image of "that" Jesus (thats how I envision [invision?] Jesus). He's standing there in a purple robe with a gold sash, starting into the clouds. But the backround is a dark blue, and the clouds are a whiteish / grey: its lovely, actually. But I randomly think to myself: "I just dont understand how people go on without God". I seriously just wonder that.

For 16 years I went on thinking I had happiness. For 16 years I went on doing things that brought me instant gratification. For 16 years I longed for something that would make me feel like I had worth. For 16 years I begged for attention. For 16 years I longed for something to live for. For 16 years I looked for something to have a passion for. For 16 years I had no one to go to. For 16 years I was unhappy. For 16 years: I was without Christ in my life.

Back to pondering the above statement:

(Again, this is going to be hard for me to get down and have make sense: bare with me!)

Psalm 32: 7-8 says "You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and and surround me with songs of deliverance". The Bible isnt a made up book, let me start from here. If you were to take 10 people: 5 following the "rules" of the Bible, and 5 not following the "rules" of the Bible, who would be better off? I heard on the radio, either 91.9 or 106.9, that the Bible are our guidlines. The Lord gave the words of the Bible to different trusted men to copy down for all to hear and read. From personal experience, following the guidelines of the Bible have helped me so much, and made me so happy. Dont get me wrong, there have been times where I've not followed them correctly: but nobodies perfect! Cept God :) But anywhoos, peole wonder what makes Christians so happy? JESUS MAKES US HAPPY! Helllllllur?!

If you were to really think about this, and I have ... many, many, many times ... why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God? What other purposes would we have on Earth? The Bible says we are to spread the love and the name of Jesus, and to save our brothers and sisters correct? It just makes sense! Ha! Could you really possibly believe that we evolved from Monkeys? Or that a tiny little cell created us? Or even (whatever the big bang theory is) could have created us? What purpose would we have? How could something like that create us, create our minds, and create us to be on the ONLY planet with life? Hmm?

I just dont understand, how people dont see this: PURPOSE. Again I repeat, what other purpose would we have on Earth other than to serve God?!

THERE IS NO OTHER PURPOSE ON EARTH OTHER THAN TO SERVE GOD!

I've felt the Holy Spirit, I've heard God speak to me, and I've seen Jesus change my life: I know God is real and I know He is the reason I live, move, and have my being. It just confuses me, seriously, that people dont understand this. I cant get this out enough, I feel like Gods telling me to push this: WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE ON EARTH OTHER THAN TO SERVE GOD - because God wants to reunite with all His beautiful children in Heaven one day. We need to save souls, and follow the one who sent His son to die: its not asking alot really. I cant describe this right, I truly cant. Oh wait, download from God:

Were not here just to work, and get tons of $$$$ so we can buy nice cars, live in nice houses, party it up, drink all the alcohol we want, sleep with all the people we want to, and eventually run our lives into the ground. Most people think thats what lifes about. It just seriously amazes me that people want to WASTE it lke that. Life is precious: life can be short. If you really think about how complex the body is, do you seriously think we could have evolved from monkeys? Could a cell seriously make us into something like that? Look at this for a moment, and tell me God did not create us:

This is laminin. Laminin, is protien that forms the subtrate of all internal organs. Overall, laminin keeps our bodies held together. Its not by accident laminin is in the shape of a cross, or that it holds our body together. I personally think of it as a remembrance, and a true shown fact that God created us. God knew the world, and knew us before He even created the Earth. He knew He would have to send his only begotten son to die for us, and loookie: He placed a cross inside our body to keep us together. Now tell me, that God didnt create us or this world?

Yes, this post is scatterbrained and I apologize! But I just wrote as I felt God speaking, and as I felt it coming. So, thuur ya have it.

Why else would we be on Earth, other than to serve God?

And if our God is for us than who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, than what could stand against?

About me?

I've been blogging for like, 4 or 5 months now: and I realized some people who read my blog probably dont know me. So, heres what I have to say about myself;;


Im 16 years old, 5'0 and a junior in high school. I live in North Carolina, and I want to go to Huntsville Masters Comission / U of M. I drive a Honda Element, and Sarah & Marion named it the box: she's my baby :) Im a dancer, and I do colorguard at my school. Even though I havn't done it in 2 years, cheerleading is stilll something I love to do. I work at a steak house, and Im a hostess there. I tend to work out on the Wii Fit alot, just because the games make me giggle. I LOVELOVELOVE Disney movies, and I can be such a little kid. Sometimes, I get a bit self concience. My style changes alot, and I dont like to be labeled: unless the label screams Jesusfreak. Im at church more than twice a week, and its my second home. I love bright colors, and big purses. Books are one of Gods greatest creations: I love to read! Worship music consumes my iPod, because it just absolutely lifts me up and its amazing. I text, but it just gets annoying honestly. I love to sleep: like, seriously.

Oh, but the most important thing about me?






Jesus Christ has changed my life & He is the ONLY - repeat - ONLY person I live for.



Hope that covers it, :)

Quick post!

Just feelin' some stirring from the Holy Spirit while eating my banana here, so its gonna be a short one!


Just for a second:
Think of how God sent His son to die, and how much He loves you. It was a bit of a struggle for me. Four years, and Im just now actually feeling Gods love. I definitely dont want people going as long as I did without reaching out to Him, and asking for his presence.

Last night at church, I was praying over a friend of mines sister, and she was begging the Holy Spirit to overtake her: and she is a freshman in high shcool. It just goes to show that you dont need to be any age, any height, any color, any weight: why? BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU! He made you, created you, loves you, and wants a relationship with you more than anything! I know its not long, and its somewhat scatter brained ... but this is just a short somewhat inspirational little thing I felt God pushing me to post :)


- Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

Prophetically Speaking.

Alright, alright. I told you I would post what Sean, Barbara, and Brandon Smith said about me at Verge camp: and here it is loves!


Well, okay. So in the previous blog it talks about how Barbara called me up to the altar. When I got up there, she told me to lift my hands to God & so I did. She then directed her daughter, Brittany (bestrongjustbelieve.blogspot.com) to stand behind me and pray for me. So Barbara was in front of me, Brittany was behind me, and soon into prayer I felt one of my pastors (Elizabeth) come up to my left side and pray over me. But I know also that my youth group and some of the other students I'd met at Verge had their hands stretched towards me from the audience.


So I get up there, and I have my hands raised towards God, and she starts saying things over me. I watched the video of the service the other night and took notes. You might think: "You dont even remember what they said about you? Something that powerful?" Honestly, no. I was S0 in the spirit! I remember like, 2 things they said ... and others were just telling me what her and Sean had said. But I watched the video, and this is what I wrote down:

[ Barbara speaking ]* You have a presence of God *There is an Esther over you *You've set yourself apart *This week at Verge has taken you deeper *Purity is writen on you *You are a worshiper *His presence comes so strongly on you *You have a glow of the Holy Spirit *You have great destiny *You may seem like a quiet person *God is so big in you *You are an example *Verge took you to a new level *The atmosphere changes around you *Your an interceeder *God has favor over you. [ Sean speaking ] *Esther *Your prayers are answered, because you pray the will of God *You have an abiding place *You dance upon the Lord *God/man have favor over you. [ And Brandon said to me ] God wants you to know that you have a mighty mouth. You may be small in statute, but you have a mighty mouth for prayer.

Im not trying to brag on myself in all this, but just the power of God and the Holy Spirit. It humbles me EVER so much that this happened. Sometimes, I still just cant believe they called me up there and spoke these things over me.

God is good, God is great: and thats all there is too it :)




Holy is our God, wonderful is He, holy is the Lord almighty. To the one who reigns forever, to the ancient of all days: be the glory, power, majesty and praise.

Thats what Verge can do -

July 26th - 30th of 20x, I spent the days on the sunny beach of San Destin Florida & in some of the most amazing youth services in the nation. Now before I go into full out detail, let me just tell you about Verge and what it is.




Verge camp was downloaded into the minds of pastor Scott & Britt of the Rock in Huntsville, Alabama by God. For 5 days, churchs from all around the southern part of the US come together to worship Jesus, and have fun. We stayed at the San Destin beach resort, right on the water, and man was it amazing! There was tons of fellowship, and tons of Jesus.


My room consisted of 2 leaders and 6 girls (including me). Our villa was huge! & there was tons of yummalicous food to keep us all sustained for these five days. Now the bulding where we had service, is so hard to describe. When you walked in, to the right was the Lost & Found and a place to sign up for beach activities. Farther back behind that was the restrooms and phones. To the left was a table where they were selling TONS of merchandise such as Huntsville Masters Comission shirts, Verge 2010 shirts, Manafest Revolution shirts, Eyes Around tshirts, Eyes Around CD's, and Citizen CD's. Back farther behind the merchandise booth, was a large open area (obviously used for conferences), set up with a few tables and water jugs incase we got hott (cause ya know, it was only a billion and 3 degress outside all week). Straight infront of the merchandise table, was the "entrance" to the sanctuary. When you walked through the long black curtains, it was the most amazing setting ever. Tons of chairs set up just like a normal church. In the back center was the media stand, with the cameras / comptuers / lights / etc. Then straight on up was the stage. With tons of lights, a large screen to see on, and mics galore! (sp, ha).

Now onto the lifechanging stuff;



-Before Verge had started, I was in an awful relationship & I definitely rebelled against the Lord ... for awhile. He was trying so hard to show me His love, and pull me closer to Him but I just absolutely would NOT let Him. So finally, once I had enough of the relationsihp, I broke up with the boy and I started, somewhat, to aim more towards God. I kept asking him things, and just asking him to talk to me: and He wouldnt. Except for the Sunday before Verge, He said one word to me: reconciliation (hence 2 posts below). Im not gonna go back into that, but this is just the start to Verge. There were so many questions I had in my walk such as: should I be going to church here? Do You truly love me God? What do you want me to do? Just so many questions, and I needed a confirmation.
-Once we got to Verge, I automatically felt the presence of God ... as always. The services started going, and the worship started, and I was all over that stuff man. I LOVE to worship God! Especially to upbeat, fast paced music like they have at Verge. So Monday night, Tuesday morning & night, Wednesday morning I was all over the altar worshiping, taking notes: you name it. I felt God, and I was starting to feel His love, but it just wasnt definite yet. (Im about to sound a bit scatter brained, so I apologize in advance). I had also been begging God to heal me of my broken heart for a little over a year now, and I felt him preparing my heart for that. Ok, back to the other story.
-Wednesday night, Sean Smith preached his AMAZ!NG message, and started doing his healing thing (as I like to call it). He did this last year and he did again this year. God revelaed to him people that needed healing, or that Sean needed to speak things over, and Sean / Barbara (his wife) called them up to the altar. So about 4/5 people in, Barbara took the microphone from Sean & said: "Theres a girl here, with a lime green shirt on ... yes, she's over here. Yes, you. your friend just looked at you ... yes, you just looked to your left. Yes you, come on up here". Yeah: she was talking to me. So I went on up there, and she prayed for me and her & Sean just spoke some amazing things over me (Im not going to put that in this blog, its too much! I'll post another one later with all of that in it :D).


That night definitely took me to a WHOLE new level of intimacy with the Lord. I gained my gift that night as well: Im an intercessor - [According to Websters dictionary] 1. The act of interceeding; 2. Prayer, petition, or entreaty in favor of another. So basicalllly, I pray for others :) & I must say, its absolutely amazing! As soon as God gave me my gift, I put it right in motion. I prayed for three of my dearest friends, and all 3 of them received their prayer language (speaking in tongues before the Lord). 2 more friends ended relationships they knew they wernt supposed to be in, because of prayer (not just mine, but because of prayer and Gods love). But also, this was such a confirmation for me: and that was actually one of the things Barbara had said to me. Also, my heart has been healed. One of the interns at our church named Kayce prayed for me Tuesday night, she prayed hard that the chains on me be broken: somehow, she knew what was going on. God took the bondage from me, He broke the chains, and His love set me free. Its definitely a testimony that I need to share, and I know He will allow me to use it to save others :)

Verge changed my life, radically. It definitely made me think over my life, and decided to re - dedicate my life to God. Im no longer wishy - washy: Im ALLLLLL INNNNNNN for God this time. As Kim Walker sings in her song "I Surrender": No turning back, I've made up my mind, I'm giving all of my life this time.

Saturday, July 31st.

Today was an amazing day, and an absolutely horrific day for me. My wonderful step dad bought me my first car today (a 2003 green Honda Element) & I was definitely excited to drive it home. But when we were headed on the interstate, it started acting up on me. So we pulled over, and switched vehicles. I drove his truck home, and he drove my Honda to the shop to get fixed up.


So around 4:30 I got home and started getting ready for work. I left the house around 5:10 or so, and decided to stop by McDonalds to get dinner because I hadn't eaten anything besides cereal this morning. So, I got my fries & got back on the interstate. I got off at exit 49, Concord Mills Blvd, and pulled up to the stop light about to turn right on Speedway. As the light turn green, and I turned that corner, something life changing happened in that moment.


Like I said, I was driving my step dads truck to work, and today was only my FIRST day driving it: so I wasnt completely used to it yet. I had the truck in 4 wheel drive ... mistake. I gased it around the corner, tapping the gas slightly to hard, and the wheels locked and I completely spun in circles: only two, but that was enough to scare the snot out of me.


I sat there in the truck, in the middle of a lane, because I couldnt move. My body wouldnt move, and the truck wouldnt move. A woman, one of the nicest woman I've ever met, stopped and helped me call the police, my parents, and helped me get the car moving so I could get out of the middle of the road.

I honestly can say, it was traumatic and life changing. Every inch of me was shaking, and I could not stop crying. She stayed with me until my step dad got there, and she told me she would pray for me: and that meant the most to me of anything.

It still just slips my mind how blessed I am, that God saved me in that moment. I kept thinking to myself: "What if someone would have hit my door?" "What if I would have flipped the truck?" & the scariest one to me: "What if I would have flipped over the overpass?"


God saved me, and I cant thank him enough for this one ... I owe him, major.

"Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God You are higher than any other" - Chris Tomlin.

Re - kun - sill - e - ay - shun.

RECONCILIATION: n // 1. The re-establishing of cordial relations ; 2. Getting two things to correspond.




Reconciled, reconcilating, reconcilation, reconciliation: I've heard them all used many, many times. Until this morning at church, when Pastor Jay spoke about it & God layed it flat, right on my heart.


The message this morning was about the lost son, reading in Luke chapter 15, versus 1 to about 21 or so. It was an amazing message and had many R words, such as: Rebellion, reconciliation, return, repentance & so, & so forth.


At the very end of the service, we always have an altar call. Pastor Jay today said "If the Holy Spirit is convicting you of any of these situations (R words) come to the front, and have someone pray for you" (obviously not those exact words, but along those lines). As earlier stated, God layed the word reconciliation on my heart. I had no idea what it meant, but I went down there anyways. When I went down there, I was met by a woman I see around the church often. She asked me if there was anything specific I wanted prayer for, and I just told her: "Well, God keeps laying the word reconciliation on my heart ..." So she prayed that over me. Again, I had no idea what this meant. After service, ah - hem: a GREAT service, we headed to Casa Grande to have lunch & while headed there, I asked Cha Cha (a free Q&A text site) the definition of the word & it answered with the definition above.


It was just amazing to me, because earlier today I kept thinking to myself: "Why doesnt God talk to me anymore?" Pfft, no need to think that today! He definitely spoke to me. It was just EXACTLY the right timing, because I've started a new relationship with God, if you will. I realized before that our relationship wasn't build correctly. Well, mine with him wasn't. So, Im re - building (or re - establishing) my relationship with God, and I just find it so amazing that God was laying that on my heart: especially the week before Verge camp :)


So now, as I approach Verge camp, Im definitly going in there with an open heart, an open spirit, and an open mind: because I know God will change me - from the inside out.




Oh how tender Your ways, I long to gaze upon Your beauty Lord: from now until forever more. Oh how lovely Your face, I want to praise You for eternity. For Your my God and You will always be. - Pastor Nathan Smith.